Illegal My Ass

Chapter 35- 'My brain shut off and my penis took the wheel.'

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You want to know when I realised I was in serious shit?

When I woke up the next morning, opening my eyes and the first thing I saw was Mia asleep next to me.

Now before you think me a prick, it’s not the case of ‘I woke up and saw her next to me and thought I'm going to get my balls ripped, shredded and chopped’. It wasn’t anything like that at all surprisingly.

The reason I knew I was in serious shit was because I was still here.

It was morning out, the blinding light coming through the window proved this, I had sex with Mia multiple times last night and I fell asleep with her after. That was all fine, but I was still here. I had not snuck out in the middle of the night to avoid the awkward next morning moment, which was my usual M.O without fail.

I am an 18, almost 19, year old boy who, and I'm going to be honest with you here, have no clue how many girls I've actually slept with. I could give you a rough estimate, but I don’t actually know. I know it sound bad but fuck it, you only live once.

Anyway, getting off topic there, but as I said I have no clue how many girls I've actually humped and dumped, and out of all these girls, I have never, and I mean EVER stuck around until the morning. I have never woken up next to a girl I had banged because I had a rule- smash and dash.

Things got too complicated otherwise.

But apparently no blood was up north last night at all because my brain almost slipped into a coma considering the amount of ‘wise’ decisions I made. The thought of slipping out in the middle of night didn’t even cross my mind as we finally climbed into Mia’s bed at stupid o’clock.

We talked for a little while, to my surprise not in the slightest bit was it awkward between us, and eventually we fell asleep. We avoided the Nate topic at all costs. To be honest we avoided any topic that would route us back around to the ‘we have seriously fucked up’ discussion we would no doubt have to have soon.

My brain finally took the wheel again and I realised I needed to get out of here. We were fine last night but a new day brings new regrets and thoughts, a clearer mind. So before we had to face each other with morning breath and sex hair, I had to do a mission impossible out of this joint.

She was sound asleep, looking so freaking adorable. She was under the duvet, her naked shoulder out and her hand tucked under her chin.

I knew fully well she was naked under those covers, and that slight thought alone was not helping the morning glory that woke up before I did. Seriously girls, you have no idea what us guys have to go through just to simply wake up in the morning.

I needed to find my clothes, which were probably scattered about all over the house considering we came in last night and attacked each other like wild animals.

That reminds me, I seriously need to wash that pool table over…

I slowly began to move backwards, trying ever so carefully to lift the cover off of me without waking her up.

I had barely moved when she did wake up. Apparently a Tom Cruz I was not.

I froze to the spot as her body stirred slightly, giving a soft morning groan as her eyes fluttered opened.

As her eyes opened fully, I saw the confusion in them for a split second as she layed her eyes on me, before the memories of last night must have come back to her.

And then the fucking bitch did the one thing that she shouldn’t have done.

She smiled at me.

The shitting smile. That smile. The one we argued about the day after I got out of prison, the one that she insisted was the best thing about waking up with someone. The one thing I tried to avoid at all costs by doing the sneak out on girls after I banged them. The smile that basically meant ‘You are screwed buddy’.