• The Beginning Of The End

• Chapter V •

- Stop, don't torture yourself with this. She's gonna be alright, you said yourself she's with her father. – If that was meant to make me feel better, it didn't work. I look over at Rick when he puts on some music from CD. I cringe at the music coming out of the speakers, completely not my kind of tea, but at least it killed the silence.

- How about you tell me something about yourself? – He asks me and I keep on looking through the window. I don't like to talk about myself, maybe because my life was nothing but a nightmare until I had Sophie. She came at the time I was so lonely and she made it a little bit better. Luke helped a lot too. I was so desperate for love that I completely mistook it, with time I realized I don't love Luke. At least not romantically. Doesn't change the fact he is my family now and a dear friend and we share a kid together, that creates a special bond between two people, believe it or not. I can feel Rick's stare on me, but somehow it doesn't make me feel uncomfortable. He makes me want to tell him my story. All the walls I built around myself through the years suddenly crumble down. The fact is that I'm probably gonna stay with this man for awhile. We need to build some kind of trust between us so I decide to open up a little. I take a deep breath and start talking.

- Well... I'm a homicide investigator. I was, I guess. Doesn't really matter now, hm? I have a small family, it's only me, my sister Anne, my brother Travis and of course my sweet daughter Sophie. My life was pretty bumpy for most of the time. My father was an alcoholic, he beat the shit out of my mom and Travis. He got so mad one night, I thought he would kill Travis. When he was about to throw another punch, I jumped in to cover my brother. He hit me so hard I fell on the ground and hit my head over the table. I spent 2 weeks in the hospital, I was very lucky, if I hit my head a few centimeters further I could have a permanent brain damage. I think that accident saved my family. Father must have felt guilty because he left and never came back. Travis had to step up and help my mom with everything. When I was 16 my mom found out she had cancer. She died 6 months later and Travis basically became our parent. It was so hard for me, I wasn't sure I would make it. Then I met Luke in High School, I fell for him instantly, maybe because I was in this fragile state. But he helped me, I found purpose in life again because of him. We were High School sweethearts as people like to say. We had so many amazing plans for our life together. – I laugh quietly and continue with telling the story. – But yeah, I found out I'm pregnant. It was so hard, but with help I managed to graduate. Right after that I had Sophie. Luke proposed to me and I said yes without really thinking it through I guess, but I loved him at that time and he was there for me. I hated the first months... We decided together that Luke will go to study law, because he got a scholarship and if he would wait he would lose it, so I knew he had to go. But it was so hard for me, we planned to go to college together and instead I had to stay and raise a child. I was on my own, Luke visited and helped as much as he could but he had his own responsibilities. My sister helped me a lot, but she had her own life, I didn't want to overwhelm her. I missed my mom so much, she would have been a great grandmother. When Luke got a degree and got hired as an attorney I applied for college. So I guess we did fullfilled our dreams in the end. Sophie was a surprise, but even in the hardest times, I never regret it. She's the light of my life. With time we started to fight with Luke a lot, I didn't want my daughter to go through childhood the way I had to. I knew if I stayed with Luke one day I would despise him and that's the last thing I wanted. We decided to get a divorce for the sake of our friendship and our daughter. – I look at Rick a little ashamed that I just threw my whole life story at him. But I needed this, I didn't even realize that before. I needed someone to listen for once. And he did listen. He puts his hand on mine, it feels intimate, normally I would take my hand away, but I don't. I don't even know why.

- You are so strong, Caroline. Your daughter is lucky to have you as her mom. – I look at both of our hands combined together and I smile lightly when I hear his words. I notice a big farm shaping in the distance and I realize we're here. Please Luke, be there.

- It's the place. – I say and point my finger in direction of the big house. Rick stops the car and I don't waste any time. I get out of the vehicle with a gun held high. If I learned anything in the last few days it's that you have to be prepared for anything. It's a peaceful and safe farm, at least it was before. We don't know what awaits us inside. I can see Rick is annoyed I didn't wait for him, but he catches up with me right away. The front door of the house is wide open and I don't like this at all. Rick decides to step inside first and I roll my eyes a little. Why do men always assume I need protection? I can very well protect myself. I hear the floor creaking undearneath our footsteps. Even though it's an early morning, the house inside is dark, because of the heavy curtains covering the windows. – Luke?! Sophie?! – I shout their names waiting for the answer, but there's none. I can feel how my body starts to shiver because of the stress. I stumble onto something lying on the floor and I almost fall but Rick grasps my hand and pulls me into his arms. I look down to check what it is, but the moment I realize I cover my face in shock and terror. It's Luke's brother, at least what is left of him. He's lying in the pool of blood and suddenly I feel nauseous. I take a few steps and yell as loud as I can. – LUKE! SOPHIE! Come out! I'm here! – I feel so desperate. I can feel they are not here, but there's still a little bit of hope in me. I notice a piece of paper smeared with blood on the table and I run for it.

„Caroline,

I couldn't stay here. It wasn't safe.

There was a huge horde of walkers closing in on us.

We're heading North, not sure where exactly.

I don't know if our paths will cross any time soon,

But I'm doing what you would want me to do.

I'm going to keep her safe.

I hope that you're safe too. Find your siblings, it's dangerous on your own.

I will always love you, Luke."

Why would he do this to me? How am I going to find them now? If he was here right now I would punch him so hard. – Fuck you, Luke. – I punch the wall instead a few times. I keep throwing punches, I don't stop even when I can see my knuckles bleed. Rick tries to pull me away, but I'm not having it.

- It's not gonna change anything. Let's go. – I turn to look at him.

- Why?! Where are we gonna go? I don't know where they went, you don't know where your family is either. What's the fucking point?

- So what? Do you want to stay here?- He looks at me with doubt and I don't blame him. I sound like a crazy person.

- I don't know what to do... I don't know anymore. – I drop on the floor covering my face. He sits next to me and puts a bandage over my knuckles.

- Whatever happens, we're in this together. It's going to be okay. – I hear him say and I reach out to him for some comfort by resting my head on his shoulder.

~~

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Next chapter from Anne's and Travis' POV.