For My Fellow Survivors

You Are Amazing

Eddie Reagan sat on the floor in her and her husband's new apartment. She was working night shifts, which she hated, and her husband was on the day shift. She hardly saw her husband anymore, which caused them to be a little snippy with each other- ironically.
The dirty blonde ran a hand through her loose curls, and stared at the space. Half their stuff was still in boxes, and the apartment was so big, it was still a little dirty.
Eddie threw the plastic bauble to the floor, and let the tears come. She had been doing everything in her power to keep the ugly hormonal tears at bay, but she finally just gave up. Come on, Eddie! Stop crying. You're a badass, and you kick ass. Jamie even gave you a T-shirt! At the thought of her husband's name, she hid her face in her hands and sobbed violently. She hated her body at times like this- where she was weak, inadequate, small.
**********
Jamie ran a hand over his face as he walked up to his and Eddie's new apartment. They still had a ton of decorating to do, and he just didn't feel like doing it that night. He sighed as he turned the key in the lock, not expecting to find his wife on the floor, crying her eyes out.
"Eddie, what's wrong?!" Jamie wondered, immediately sitting on the floor next to his wife, forgetting about the shitty day he had had.
"It's empty."
"What?" He rubbed his hand on the back of her shoulder. Maybe watching Danny comfort Linda during her time of the month wasn't such a bad idea after all.
"The apartment," Eddie hated how her voice sounded weak. "It's- it's not finished."
"That's okay, baby. We'll furnish it and fix it up and everything. It just takes a little time." He gently pulled Eddie towards him. He kissed her forehead while she slumped against his shoulder.
"I'm too weak."
"What?" Jamie wasn't sure if she had said anything. It was so quiet, as if she didn't mean to say it out loud.
"I'm weak!" Eddie repeated, new tears coming. She pushed herself away from Jamie and headed towards the kitchen.
"Weak?" He stood up, "says who?"
"Says me! I shouldn't be crying just cause my body's punishing me for not baring your children!"
Jamie always wondered how female emotions could go from completely devastated to wanting to kill someone. He decided saying 'oh, so now it's my fault?' was not the way to go. "Eddie, it's okay. You're aloud to cry."
"No I'm not! Crying is a sign of- of weakness and vulnerability, so what does that make me?"
"Truthfully?"
Eddie nodded, sniffling.
"Crying doesn't make you weak or vulnerable. All it means is that you have a heart. People cry all the time, when they're happy, sad, scared, in pain... you have a heart, and it's a good one. You're not weak or vulnerable; you're loving, kind, funny, hot, compassionate, kick-ass. Eddie Janko Reagan," Jamie walked up behind her, hugging her. He planted kisses on her cheek between syllables. "You. Are. A. Maze. Ing. And if anyone says otherwise, than they don't know you. Because you're the greatest person I know."
Eddie sobbed and turned in his arms. She clung to him as her ugly tears fell again, this time because of how much she loved him. "I love you."
He kissed her forehead, "I love you, too.... come on, you've got a tour to do." He steered her out of the kitchen.
"Aw, do I have to? Can't I call in sick?"
Jamie looked at her, she really did look sick. "Okay, Tell you what. You call in sick, and we'll order in." He knew her appetite tripled when she was on her period. "We'll just sit back and relax. Okay?"
Eddie nodded, "thank you."
"Anything for you." He kissed her sweetly, but she grabbed on.
Eddie gripped Jamie's jacket, probing her tongue in and out of his mouth. She pulled away only when air became a necessity, "I really love you."
"I really, really love you."