Little Psycho ➳ Randy ✓

Chp 21 : Something I Didn't Want

*This chapter might trigger some but I'm not telling why it'll make it abviouse*

-The words in Italic are flashbacks-

Andy's POV

   I , Andrew Robert Fowler offically gave up . I can't take it anymore , it's too much to handle . Memories and flashbacks keep coming back and so all the tears , everything is just too much . The only thing kept me from drowning in a bathtub and burning my lungs with water , or swallowing piles or even laying in a pool of my own blood , was him . Me waiting him on hope he'll come and hug me one day . But it never happen , and now I'm stuck in being alive and never living . I'm completely lost without him , I kinda wish he was too .

I stood to a point were I hated the wind cause I couldnt be free as it ...

And so I held the small pin and started with the famous sentence to every letter 'To whome it may concern , I'm leaving this note with my last words'  . And 'help me' were the last words the ink could write before it drift away ...

_______________________________

His stare burned into mine , and as if we were having a stare match , I wouldn't give up on staring into his eyes until he does .

As much as his Green forest eyes made feel uncomfortable I didn't want to lose , I wanted to feel in control in something , and if this was the only way then be it .

Adam sat across me in the room we share , he looked straight into me . He'd look me up and down , and I'd do the same . He'd bit his lip and I'd do the same . He'd smirk at me and I'd do the same .

My other two roommates left the room probably to go on eachothers agian , and left me and Adam alone in the room .

  The second the door shut , Adam stood on his feet and made his way to me , and stood in front of my bed were I was sitting .

   He called me his baby boy , the one he's always proud of  . He told me to get to the room so we could have 'fun' .... I didn't believe him , I never actually trusted him , but what can I say , I just obeyed . And I wish I didn't ...

Then everything happened so intense , I didn't know what happened , all I know is that I was on the bed pinned under him , and him looking me with eyes full of lust .

"You're so beautiful"

"You're so beautiful"

huh ? I've heard this sentence alot before , b-but where ??

He undressed me slowly , taking my shirt and pants first , then taking his time in taking my boxers off .

Ripping my shirt off quickly , I didn't quite understand what he's doing . After all being the only seven years old boy was hard in this house .

I just looked at him , I didn't move a muscle . I knew that if I told him to stop he won't and it'll only be more pleasurable for him . Like the first one , I won't do the same mistakes .

And so I let him do whatever he wanted , and pretended to like it . After his closes were off and me being fully naked .

He begin sucking in my neck , I wanted him to stop , no I needed him to stop !

But the only thing I did is shuting everthing around me , I tried to block his moans his words , and only looked at the ceiling . Then everything became numb , tears blurred my vision . Every thing feel so empty yet painful .

  His thruts got rougher than ever , he never did me like that , he always call me his tiny toy . Then why he's hurting me ? How even people found this pleasurable ...

After his many thruts , he came in me , but it didn't stop him from continuing . And so I started laughing historically through tears , I didn't know on what ...

Maybe on him for thinking I'm liking it .
Or on my dad who abused me and raped me as long as I can remember .
Or on Rye who didn't just broke his promise but my heart with it too .

Or on me for thinking that Rye would come one day and engulf me under his wing ...

It was only then when realisation hit me . I'm being ripped in half-

and all I was thinking was Mommy gonna be disgust .

And all I am thinking of is that Ryan will be disgust

But Sometimes you have to pretend really hard so it'll happen , it's like sleeping , sometimes you pretend you're sleeping by closing your eyes , and so evantually you sleep , it's the same thing here ...

Pretend you like it

Pretend you like it

Pretend you like it

Pretend you like it

Pretend you like it

Pretend you like it

Pretend you like it

Pretend you like it

Pretend you like it

I DON'T LIKE IT !!

TO BE CONTINUED ...
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885 words

A/N : Please don't kill me 😅

And like I made the while story for this sense so yeah , Not gonna say have fun bitches cuz you brobably didn't 😊 .

Andddd I literally wrote this on my way to school so that's why it's complete shit 💩 .

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