Loving Jane

Fifteen

"It does, does it?" I grinned and pushed the bag in his direction. "Here. All done. Thank you so much for coming by to visit me at work."

He grabbed the bag off the counter. "Thank you, Jane. And I'm sorry about... this," he said. He looked guilty.

I gave him an encouraging thumbs-up. "It's okay, Seb. We're still good. And call, next time, if you do want to stalk me?" I teased.

He nodded and waved goodbye. "That's on me. I'm sorry. I'll call if there's a next time." He laughed.

My eyes followed him as he walked out of the store. Like a switched, Aileen words echoed in mind again. You like this guy, and maybe not just a friend. At that moment, I considered it as a possibility. Maybe I do.

~~~~

Sebastian took my advice. In the evening past nine, I got a text from him. It was short, sweet, and unpretentious. The words reflected him so much I could picture him saying the words as I read them.

I wanted to call, and you did offer, but if you're asleep at this time I didn't want to wake you. I hope you respond to text as well, as you didn't promise me anything about answering them too. Anyway, I'm texting to apologize again about this morning. I won't stalk you again without your permission. So here it is. Are you free tomorrow for lunch? I'd like to take you out somewhere to make up for my inappropriate actions. I hope you're thought about it didn't diminish because of it.

Waiting for your reply.

~ Seb

I found myself grinning from ear to ear, reading his message nearly three times. And each time I felt warmth in his words. When I thought it through, he might have rewritten and thought his words carefully before sending the message. The fact he sent it nearly twelve hours after our meeting told me he had been cautious with what he wanted to say. Plus, why he chose to text rather than call only made it adamant.

So, I kept my response brief and short, to ease his burden.

My opinion about you hasn't changed for the worst, only for the better. And yes, I'd love to have lunch with you tomorrow. And if I may, can I pick the place? I only have a short lunch break.

~ Jane

His reply followed not a minute later.

I'm glad you're still awake. And yes. You can pick the place. What do you have in mind?' His text read.

'Pizza and wings.' I hit send.

'That sounds good. I'll pick you up at your work around noon. Are you out then?'

'Yes, I am. See you then. Good night, Seb.'

'Sweet dreams, Jane.'

That night, I found myself dreaming again. I dreamt of a sunny summer. The warm breeze and prickling heat quenched with the taste of lemonade and honey. I dreamt of the old Oak tree by the stream near my grandmother's farmhouse. And then, there underneath the shade, sitting beside me was a little boy. A bit older than I am, who was playing with glass marbles. And I was there, beside him, playing with my own set of marbles as well. We both held them up, allowing the sun to create streaks of reflection, creating different light around us.

It was an old dream. One I couldn't remember. But now that I do, the scene became more vivid. The little's boy became clearer. His familiar dark brown hair, his chestnut eyes, and his childish toothy grin. Slowly the boy grew and became the Sebastian I knew now. Yet it was the same color hair and eyes, and a smile that was gradually growing on me.

~~~~

I was unaware I was in an unusually good mood until Aileen pointed it out while she dropped me off to work.

"Is there something happening today? Are you already getting a promotion or something?" She asked with interest.

I snorted. "I've been hired barely a week in, Aileen. Why would they promote me suddenly?"

"Then what's all of this?" She asked and gestured me in emphasis.

"What? Is there something off about me?"

"Nothing off. But you're glowing, Jane. And whatever it is, do more of it because I'm happy to see you like this." She remarked with a smile.

"Really?" I asked in confusion and pulled out my phone. With the use of the dead screen's reflection, I checked my expression. "I don't see anything."

She scoffed. "You've been smiling and bubbly, Jane. Tell me. Is there something happening today that's making you so... happy?" For a second, she was unsure of what words to use. But in the end, she described it in the simplest term.

Did I look happy?

I sighed in defeat and gave her a brief gist of my text chain with Sebastian.

"Finally! He's asked you out!" She cheered, briefly letting go of the steering wheels to hold out her hands in exaltation. Luckily, the car was stagnant as we waited in front of the red light.

"It's not like that, Aileen. You know..."

She interjected, "Jane, I know what you're trying to say. But are you going to keep lying to yourself? You know he doesn't completely see it the same way. And he knows you know it too. And you're willing to keep him in your life still. If you don't want all of him, then you can't keep the man in a leash."

The atmosphere got serious quick. But she was right. And I was deluding myself that I can keep him in my life as only a friend when he clearly wanted more.

"So, you think I should have ended thing before it'll get anywhere?"

"That's your choice, Jane. Only saying this because you don't seem to grasp it yourself. I can see you like him to some extent, but to what extent, I don't know. You have to figure it out yourself. But my advice, when you do have your answer, do it quickly before it'll be too late and you'll hurt a lot of people."

I chuckled dryly. "I can't believe you have this in you, Aileen. I should ask more relationship advice from you, even though you've been single most of your life."

She laughed. "I'm a romantic, Jane. But that doesn't mean I look for romance blindly. I have standard too, you know."

"Yeah. A very high standard that no men can meet."

"It's not high at all. I only require basic decency, loyalty, respect, and honesty in a relationship. That's not hard to do. But in a society we live in, the qualities I listed sounded like I'm looking for prince charming and a fairytale ending," she said in thought. "And I'm losing faith in every finding decent men."

Now it was my turn to give her a sermon.

"You'll meet someone, Aileen. Just have faith and don't lose confidence in yourself. You're a remarkable woman. One of these days, a man will meet those things if he truly loves you."

"Yeah, I hope so."

"That's what all we can do, really, hope for the better."

Aileen at me and smiled. "I'm glad you're back, Jane."

There was a brief prick in my heart at her words, understanding what she meant. "I'm happy to be back, Aileen."

~~~~

I found a cafe to concentrate on writing this chapter. I'm glad I did and finished it. Thank you for reading. I might be updating another chapter to catch up and not break my streak. Pray, I can do this. :)