𝐇𝐈𝐓 𝐀𝐍𝐃 𝐑𝐔𝐍 (𝙰 𝙵𝚞𝚛𝚛𝚢 𝙽𝚘𝚟𝚎𝚕)

❶ 𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐋𝐢𝐬𝐭

•••

Vinnie

Monday

I'm Vincenzo. I'm seventeen.

I hate my name.

Life is a mood. A really bad one. Like a, your angry alcoholic father just got fired from his job, mood.

My dad isn't that scary in general. But when he's mad, that's when you start running. I hate my mom and dad. They always have expectations for me, thinking I'll grow up as one of their perfect sons just like my brother and sister. They even made a list. Yeah, a fucking list. I found it in their drawer by their bed about three years ago. It read:

1. Vincenzo must have all A's every year and make the honor roll.

2. Vincenzo must excel socially and have a large quantity of friends/acquaintances.

3. Vincenzo will keep a polite manner throughout the day and comply to any task that we ask of him.

4. He will maintain a steady diet and avoid eating anything unhealthy.

5. He will attend college at Cloverland University.

6. He will graduate and get married to a very smart and wealthy woman at age 20.

7. He will work at the family bank along with his brothers and sisters for the rest of his life.

First of all, why did they sign it at the bottom? What is it, a fucking peace treaty?

Second, why do they already have my whole life planned out? I know I'm seventeen and I should be planning my future already, but they wrote this when I was fucking born. I can tell because of the fading pencil marks and the date on the top. And I also know that they have been using it because the first expectation already has a line striking through it. I don't know when they made that line, but it seems recent.

But, yes, they are right. I have been getting A's every year and making the honor roll. Guess they're really fucking proud of me. Why do I have the urge to fail just to stick it in their faces?

My brother, Hazel, already graduated college and is now working in the family business. A bank. It's that fucking boring. My sister, Naomi, is already in college. CU is the institute every member of my family goes to. It's the highest-rated and the most accessible in the country. Soon I'll be heading there, just like my mom and dad did, and their parents, and theirs.

We're all the fucking same. Everyone in my family. Me and my siblings, we're like slaves, lead by dumb authority figures that I can't really call 'parents'. Every time someone looks at our family photo, all they see is just a wealthy family of servals.

Third, I don't want to marry. Even if I change my mind and I do, I don't know if it will be to a woman.

My family is extremely homophobic (except for Naomi, almost all her friends are gay). If my dad or mom caught me being intimate with a boy for only a second, out of the house I go. If Hazel found out, he would bully me 24/7. I don't know what Naomi would do. We're not that close at the moment.

I kept this secret about my sexuality to myself forever. I don't even know what I am; gay, bisexual, asexual... I've never told anyone, scared that somehow my parents would find out that I said it. (They have a keen eye on me. Wherever I go, they have some sort of nanny cam. Adults, friends, etc.) I've never searched it up to find out since my parents read the family computer's history every time someone uses it. Sure, I have a phone, but my mom puts this weird tech that only allows me to go on certain apps and use the internet for a certain amount of time (like 30 minutes a day). I have no freedom.