Saved

LIII

"Mommy!" Dale cried, standing still, his hands by his sides, so overwhelmed that he couldn't even pull his foot out of the walker's grasp that still remained on his foot. I ran forward, collapsing on my knees in front of the hysterical boy, and I could hear Daryl running up behind me, and freaking out, checking every nook and cranny of the house and the area around us, but all I could do was grip desperately onto my son, and pull his foot lose from the grip of the thing that almost killed him.

"I'm so sorry baby. I'm so sorry. You're okay. You're okay." I whispered into his hair, as he wrapped his little arms around my neck, and his little legs around my waist. I sat back, landing hard on my butt, but I didn't move my hands from where they were, the left under his bottom, holding him as close as possible, and the right was pressed to the back of his head, still holding the gun tightly in my fist. So tight that I could barely feel my fingers, except for my trigger finger, that was hovering, waiting to fire on anything that came towards us. 

That 'anything that came towards us' happened to be my husband. 

I barely registered my hand moving, when suddenly Daryl was standing in front of us, hands up in the air and fear spread across his face as I pointed the gun at his head. It took a long moment for me to recognize him, and an even longer moment for me to put the gun down beside me. 

"Dale. Hush, it's okay, please stop crying." I mumbled, looking away from the fearful eyes of Daryl, and staring at the empty shell that used to be a human being, the same empty shell that I had blown to bits, as tears slowly dripped down my face. 

"I'm sorry Mommy. You said never to wander off but I did! I'm sorry!" Dale cried into my shoulder, and I felt my heart clinch, and I wanted nothing more than to kill every last walker with my bare hands, just so that my son would never have to feel this fear again. 

"I know. I know you weren't supposed to, but it's not your fault love. I should have been watching you, I'm so sorry. It's not your fault okay?" I whispered, pulling his head out from my shoulder so he could see the sincerity in my eyes. We watched each other for a long time. His ocean blue eyes shining as the tears dripped from them, but the fear was leaving him, and I knew he'd be okay. 

"I love you, so much." I whispered, leaning forward to press a kiss on his forehead, and when I pulled back and wiped his tears, new ones didn't replace them. 

"Let's go, okay? Let's go see the rest of our family." I mumbled, standing up and Dale nodded climbing off my lap, but as soon as he was standing he froze, and looked down at his pants. 

"Mommy... I think I peed my pants." He whispered, tears building in his eyes again, and I grabbed his hands before he could dissolve into tears. 

"It's okay. It's not your fault, you were scared. Why don't you go back into the RV and clean up? We'll wait here for you." I said gently, and he nodded. 

"Mommy, will you take me?" He asked, staring down at me from his little height. I nodded, and when Daryl stuck his large hand out I took it, and let him haul me up out of the dirt. I walked Dale back to the RV so he could change, and once the door was closed, I turned to look at my husband, and immediately the tears fell. 

"Shit. Ri..." Daryl blurted, yanking me into a hug, apparently not realizing that I had stopped crying so that Dale would, and that I totally was not over this. 

"He almost... he could have!" I sobbed, the loud noises ripped through my chest, almost burning me as they came out and I couldn't control it. I could have lost my son. My son could have been eaten alive. 

"Riley. Calm down. You need to breathe." He mumbled, rubbing his hands up and down my back and it wasn't until then that I noticed that he had dropped his crossbow, and then it all came flooding back to me. 

"What happened! You were supposed to be watching him! He got out of the car with you! You were supposed to watch him for just a few seconds, and he almost died!" I cried, shoving him away, but he refused to let go. Only letting me pull away enough so that I could kind of hit his chest with my fists, but I was trapped in the cage of his arms. 

"I screwed up Ri. I'm so sorry. I never would've forgiven myself if..." He stopped, choking on the words and I watched, horrified as tears started falling down his face. 

"I should've been watching him. I swear I'll never let him out of my sight again, I just wasn't thinking. I'm so sorry." He mumbled, wiping the tears from my face even as they continued to fall down his. 

"I'm sorry, I shouldn't have yelled, it wasn't just your fault. We both should have been watching him. I forget sometimes how young he is. He's four! We expect so much from him. It's not just your fault." I whispered, using my fingers to brush away his tears, and before he could say anything else, Dale pushed open the door and smacked Daryl right in the back with it. 

He grunted, and almost stepped on me, but we managed to not kill each other, and turned to look at Dale who was all cleaned up and looked a lot calmer. 

"Which way Dad?" He asked, and Daryl unwound his left hand, pointing the direction we were supposed to go, and then Dale was off. Power-walking into the woods, gun held tightly in his left hand, and he was barely three steps away when he turned back to look at us, a cocky grin splayed across his face. 

"You guys coming? I want to kill some walkers." He said, in his tiny little boy voice, and then he turned back to the woods, and walked off, with Daryl and I scrambling to keep up with our tough little spit fire.