The Fear Of Faith [2]

29. Bethan

'Happy to have you,' Penny giggled. 'Are you going to be okay tonight?'

'Where are you going?' I asked, feeling uneasy at being left alone with my thoughts and my phone once again. I was already tempted to call him just to hear his voice and I needed Penny here to stop me.

'Just out with some of my friends from class,' she told me. 'Umm...I can cancel if you want.'

'Of course not!' I cried. 'You go ahead. I have a lot of work to do.'

'Okay,' she said, studying me carefully. 'I'll try not to stay out late then we can throw in a movie before bed.'

I nodded and gave her a smile as she slid her freshly painted toes into her sliders and threw on her coat before grabbing her bag and heading out, leaving me alone.

I quickly grabbed my laptop and began getting to work on an assignment, not stopping for hours or giving myself the slightest moment to start overthinking. When I couldn't take anymore of sitting in the same position staring at the bright screen, I went for a long shower and spent time slowly drying and straightening my hair before getting into some comfy pyjamas and playing Friends on my laptop as I texted the group chat with the girls from home.

I talked with them for a little while, finally letting them know that Cal and I had broken up and I had moved into dorms. It was safe to say they were all heartbroken for me and I sat in tears as I read their kind words. April was angry at Cal for letting me go so easily but I managed to convince her not to say anything to him.

It was harder than I'd expected telling my old friends about it after they'd been there through every part of Cal and I getting together. They'd witnessed the struggles he and I had went through for acceptance and everything he had done for me when I was going through hell with Archie. The flashbacks made me want to call him and say sorry and tell him that we needed to forget what had happened and be back to normal but I was too afraid. I had made the bold move to end it and now I feared that Cal had completely cut me off from his life and that he would reject me if I tried to come back into it; something that would surely break my heart for good.

I fell asleep whilst texting and missed Penny coming home. I woke up the next morning spread across the bed awkwardly with my phone still in my hand and my head resting on the keyboard of the laptop. I sat up and spotted Penny asleep in her bed and I grabbed my pillow and threw it at her, making her jump up and scowl at me.

'It's Saturday!' she groaned, throwing herself back down.

'Can we go for breakfast?' I asked her.

'What time is it?' she moaned.

'It's only 8am,' I said.

'Ugh, Bethan, once again, it's Saturday!' she called to me.

'Yeah but I really need to get out of this room,' I sighed. 'I'm going crazy. I almost called him last night but I got too scared.'

'Okay,' she said, sitting up and swinging her legs out of the bed. 'Let's get dressed and find a diner. Breakfast it is.'

'Thank you,' I said with a smile and headed for my closet.

We threw on some clothes and headed to the bathroom to brush our teeth and do makeup before going back to the dorm to grab our things. We took a short walk to a diner nearby to enjoy breakfast, the both of us ordering pancakes and I finally felt a little better than I had the night before.

'Okay, here's the plan,' Penny said as she slammed her phone to the table.

'Is this about who you've been rudely texting the whole time we've been here?' I asked with a giggle as I shoved food into my mouth.