Messing With Miss Ordinary

Kabanata 22

I wonder if she's planning to quit her job at the resto. At first I hated the idea but on second thought, maybe that would help lessen her time with that man she's hugging a while ago.

Really, Andreas? You're that desperate to stop her from seeing him? You're ready to lose a good employee?

Napabuntong-hininga ako ng malalim dahil sa sigaw ng utak ko dahil oo ganun ako ka desperado ngayon.

Hindi naman masama ang pang-umaga niyang trabaho in case doon na siya mag-full time. Masaya ang atmosphere and she'll experience a much lighter and happier environment dahil sa mga bata na palaging naroon.

Bata? Are you planning to train her on how to deal with babies? Ano yon? Preparatory lesson?

Gusto ko bigwasan ang sarili ko dahil sa hiyaw ng utak ko.

Of course, she was not able to experience such things when she was young. Given the history of how she was conceived and raised by her mother alone in the absence of her father was not a good one. Nakita ko kung paano yon nakaapekto sa tiwala niya sa kaniyang sarili. Masyadong maliit ang tingin niya sa sarili niya because there are people who keeps on making her feel that way. And I feel guilty everytime she felt that to herself, that she's not good enough for anyone especially me dahil sa antas ko sa buhay.

She keeps on using that against me and I hated myself because I can't convince her that it doesn't matter to me. Na kahit siya pa ang pinakadukhang babae sa mundo, gusto ko pa rin siyang makasama.

I drove off her place ng masigurong hindi na siya lalabas at baka nakatulog na din siya sa mga oras na 'yon.

I haven't sleep kahit kunti so I decided to head for my condo. Papadiritsohin ko na lang si Paulo sa condo mamaya.

I composed a text for Cleo informing her na hindi ako makakapasok ng maaga.

.......

I heard a buzz just in time I doze off. Alam kong may tumatawag sa cellphone kong nakapatong sa bedside table ko but my eyelids were too heavy to open.

I tried to ignore the call but it didn't stop. Tunog pa din ito ng tunog kaya wala akong ibang choice kundi abutin yong cellphone ko at pikit-matang sinagot ang tumatawag.

Panay buntong-hininga lang ang naririnig ko mula sa kabilang linya.

"Hello? Who's this?" tanong ko matapos sipatin ang numerong nakarehistro sa screen.

Hindi pamilyar sa akin ang numero and I can't even tell if the caller was a boy or a girl.

"Why don't you talk and tell me what you want? You're fuckin' disturbing my sleep!" I snapped and ended the call.

I guess that's where I poured all my frustrations. Frustrations na nagiging mitsa ng pagiging aburido ko sa opisina sa mga nakalipas na araw. Even Mara was not able to escape from my mood swings when she keeps on asking me why I'm in a bad mood.

I went back to bed and tried to get some sleep again after I turned off my phone for good. I felt like my brain was drained to the fullest na kung pwede ko lang ding i-off ay ginawa ko na.

Isang malungkot na mukha ni Gabriella ang nakita ko sa unang pagbukas ng aking mga mata. Napakurap ako ng ilang beses kasabay ang pagbangon mula sa kinahihigaan kong Kam.

Si Gabriella! Nandito siya sa kwarto ko?

Hindi ako makapaniwala sa nakikita pero ilang kurap na ang ginawa ko ngunit naroon pa rin siya, nakaupo sa gilid ng kama ko habang malungkot na nakatingin sa akin.