Breathless ~A Romanogers FanFiction

Chapter 13- Found

*Clint's point of view*

It's been two days. We caught Loki but he broke out. And after eveverything that has happened in the last two days; gods coming down to earth, Loki going into custody and then breaking out again. Natasha is no where to be seen. I'm seriously worried now and I can tell everyone else is as well.

One person I wouldn't expect to be upset is Steve. He seems very fragile about the whole situation and he's never even spoken to her! I doubt he's heard of her before he came to SHIELD two days ago! He keeps asking me if there are any updates on her whereabouts or if there is anywhere she could be. I want to know why he's so interested in her. Does he think it's his fault? What did he do if it is?

I decided that I'm gonna go around to her apartment and see if shes there, if not, theres not a lot else I can do. I can search through CCTV but knowing her, shes gonna shy away from any cameras. I'm just hoping shes at her apartment.

Driving to her apartment, I saw a bike that was left on the pavement. It looks like the victim went over the bars and banged their head on the floor. The bike looked extremely familiar, that's when I realised its Natasha's bike! My foot reaches the accelerator and I sped around to her building.

I walked up the stairs and saw a trail of blood stains on the blue carpet, all leading to her apartment. Shit. I throw my hand against the door but theres no answer. I call her name but there are no replies. I pulled out my key I have for her apartment and opened the door, only to be confront by manual chain locks on the inside of the door. Reaching my hand around the door, I fiddle with the chain, trying to get it to release. After about 5000 attempts, it finally gave up and released the door, swinging it open. Blood stains continued throughout the dark apartment. I shut the door behind me.
"NATASHA?" I frantically unlocked the bathroom door but no one was in there. I opened the living room door to see all curtains and windows shut and locked. I went into the kitchen but she wasnt there either.

I went to her bedroom and the door was locked from the inside. I reached into my pocket and pulled out a hair clip I use when I need to open doors. I opened the door and slowly opened the creaky door. Her bedroom was dark and the knife was missing from the nightstand. Where is she?! I sat on her bed and sobbed. Where could she be?! Was she kidnapped? Was she-

That's when I saw her, the other side of her chest of drawers so no one could see her. A knife sat next to her frail body that lay unconscious. A cut was on her wrist and there was two big cuts on the side of her temple, from where she fell down the stairs and another on her cheek, probably from the bike accident. The knife that sat beside her matched the wound on her wrist... she hasn't. She can't have. I knelt down beside her and shook her, hoping that she's okay. Please be okay.

Her emerald eyes shot open and she looked up at me with red puffy eyes.
"Jesus Natasha." I huffed, looking at her directly in the eyes.
"You shouldn't be here." She said, her voice frail and sore.
"Why shouldn't I?" I asked worriedly.
"I don't deserve you." She said, under her breath. A tear rolled down her cheek. Oh my. She's in a major state. She can't think this! I sat beside her, sliding the knife away from her reach, and wrapped my arm around her. She sobbed quietly into my shirt. Shes never done this. Why is she doing it now?
"I'm going to go get some stuff to clear you up. Please don't go anywhere." I stood up and rushed to the kitchen, grabbing a first aid kit and some tissue.

I swiftly moved across the hall, back into Natasha's bedroom to find her up on the bed, sitting with head in her hands. I knelt down in front of her, trying to take a look at her, what looks to be, dislocated knee. My heart ached as I began to inspect her knee, definitely dislocated, She flinched slightly as I did so. I have to put it back, I have to. It's going to hurt her so much but I have no choice if she wants it to get better. I want to make sure she's better.
"3...2...1." I applied a sharp pressure to the side of her knee, slotting it back into its place. She flinched, yelling in pain and bringing her knee up to her chest. "I'm really sorry, Nat..."
"Its okay, it's my fault." She said, sobbing into her forearm that's wrapped around her head, resting on both her kneecaps.
"Can I have a look at your head?" I said sympathetically. This is hurting me more than it is her. I'm sure shes hurting emotionally but this moment will scar me forever. I hate seeing her like this.

She lifted her head, looking at me with puppy dog eyes before staring at the wall. She had one gigantic gash down the side of her face, pretty deep but rather dry, it must of happened after she left the SHIELD base. She had another she did when she fell down the stairs on the side of her, dripping dried blood like a splatter of paint. I picked up a paper towel and put it in a glass of water that lay on the counter, and began dabbing the blood, washing it off as I go. The towel neared the cuts and she hesitated at every try to clean them. God, I hate this. I managed to wash the cuts enough to put some form of band-aid over the top of the two cuts.

Rushing back to the kitchen quickly, I poured a glass of water and gave it to her, pleading her to drink it. Thankfully, she did.

Then there was the cut on her arm from what I presume to be the knife. I know she has a past, a bad one, but I never thought it was that bad that a knife was involved when assaulting herself! I hate her feeling like this but there is no way I can properly help, she refuses therapists all the time, today will be no different. My heart tore apart, what was she thinking? Natasha has given me so much and I really do not want her to feel like nobody wants her because, even though she doesn't know it, EVERYONE cares. Fury, Stark, Rhodey, Sam, Bucky, Wanda, Maria and even Steve who hasn't even spoken to her care!! We all care! I'm always here for her to talk to. I bandaged her arm up, carefully trying not to hurt her.

After I've attempted to make her feel a little better, clearing up wounds and getting her to eat and drink something, I decided to focus on the mental side of things. I was leaning on the wall, behind the door, staring at the silent hurting soul that sat before me.
"Please, talk to me." She lifted her hand and wiped the tears from her stained face.
"What do you want me to say?" Her frail voice was heartbreaking.
"Tell me what happened." I said, keeping the same volume of voice as she did.
"I don't know." She said, even quieter than before.
"You don't know what? You don't know what happened or you don't know whether you want to tell me?"
"I don't know what happened."
"Try to explain-"
"I don't know what happened!" She began raising her voice.
"You've got to know something." I didn't want to push her but she needs to talk if she wants to get better. I kept my volume the same but hers continued to rise.
"I ran, okay!?" Her head lifted and glared at me, tears building up as she spoke, "I felt something and I ran! I don't know fully why I ran! But I did!" The tears fell down, tumbling down her rosey cheeks. She paused for a moment in silence. Her face turned from anger to guilt, her eyes pleaded me for forgiveness. "I- I"
"Don't worry about it, Nat." I walked over and sat next to her, wrapping my arm over her shoulder as she leaned in to me. "Just tell me one thing, what did you feel?"
"I'm not sure," she sniffed back the tears that soaked my grey tshirt. "I felt sick, nauseous. I was frozen from something, I don't know what, I'd love to know."
"Okay," I felt a vibration in my pocket, I pulled out my phone and saw a message from Stark.

Tony S.
Found Loki! Stark tower, ASAP. Have you found Nat? If you have, tell her to get her ass into gear and get down here. We talk about where she went after.

Clint B.
Found her. We'll be right there.

"Come on." I said, standing up and pulling her up with me.
"Where are we going?" She asked, the redness fading from her cheeks, her bloodshot eyes returning to their natural white.
"We are going to Stark Tower. We have Loki. Get your suit on and let's go!" I yelled from outside her bedroom door, leaving her to get changed in privacy.
"Okay, okay!" She laughed, I'm so glad shes laughing.

5 minutes later, Natasha emerged from her bedroom wearing her usual black suit, utility belt and her red shoulder length hair flowing behind her. Must be time for a mission.
"Come on, Clint. Get your ass up!"
"Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm coming." I followed her out of her apartment.

We headed straight for Stark Tower.

I'm so glad she's back to normal, ish.

End of Found