Chubby Chaser (Billy Hargrove)

38.

A few days later have passed. I haven't had contact with Billy, Nancy, my parents... anybody actually. I told my parents I caught some terrible stomach bug so I can stay home for the past couple of days.

All I have done really is hide underneath a blanket and watch reruns of shows and movies. I caught up on my homework that was assigned for the next week. At least I've stayed some what productive.

My mind keeps going back and forth on what I want to do. Do I want to give my body up? I mean of course I do, I want nothing more than pleasure to run through my veins. But... Do I want to feel used by Billy? He has no interest in me, and I know for a fact he does not feel any remorse for the things he's done in the past.

He's not shy in getting in girls pants, I've heard so many horrific stories, okay I'm over exaggerating, I have heard numerous sad tales of girls seeing something serious going with him. They began to let their walls down and then, BAM! He got away with it and they were never in his pupillary direction ever again.

I do not want to be that girl.

I don't want to be that girl when it comes to Billy, Banana Dick Scott, anybody.

My body is mine and mine alone, I don't want to feel taken advantage of wondering why I wasn't good enough for someone to stick around.

I lay curled up in a ball in my bed day dreaming of what we could be. What if I did let him have this one thing that holds purity. What if my vulnerability opens his eyes to see I am a girl with ambitions that could bring him up while he does me.

I sighed shaking my head, that would never happen.

Tick...

Okay what was that? I looked around wondering what that sound was. I moved around in my bed fumbling to find my tv remote.

Tick!

"Riley! I know you're in there!" I heard a faint voice call. I walked up to my window to see Nancy flailing her arms around trying to get my attention. I raised my window up and poked my head out.

"Uh hey, what's up?" I asked slightly embarrassed. I haven't showered in days. I know I smell terrible and look like a mess. "Why haven't you gone to school this whole week?" I shrugged, "I- I'm sick." "Oh cut the crap. Can I come in?" I internally sighed and nodded my head. "Yeah let me go and open the door."

I closed the curtain to my bedroom window and ran around my room to find a pair of pants to throw on. I looked around my room and cringed. The amount of damage that has been done to my room these past couple of days is crazy. I had so many chip bags scattered around along with cups.

"Riley!" "Uh... coming!"

I opened my bedroom door giving a pep talk to myself getting ready for Nancy's scolds as how I am such a slob.

I opened my front door and smiled. "Hey Nance!" I beamed. Nancy frowned looking me up and down. "You don't look so hot is everything alright?" She questioned looking me up and down. She grimaced as she began to breathe the stench coming from me.

I let out a nervous laugh and began to scratch the back of my head and cringed at the amount of knots built in the back of my hair.  "Just been really sick, I don't know what I ate-"  "Riley what's been going on? I know you are not that sick to not answer my calls. I've called everyday this past week and you have not returned one of my calls."

I frowned looking down at the ground. I didn't know to what to say. I just didn't feel like talking? No that's just rude.

"Riley..." I looked up at Nancy and saw concern written all over her face. "You're my best friend, you can come to me and tell me everything. We're supposed to do that."

"It feels like we can't." I stated. "What? What are you talking about?" "You are only here because I didn't show up to school. Other than that you would not care." I stated. "Riley, what is going on?"

"Are you hiding something from me, Nancy?"

Nancy stood there confused and shook her head. "What would I hide? I've got nothing to hide. Can I come in?" I nodded my head and opened the door wider allowing her to step inside.

Nancy walked straight into my living room planting a seat right on the sofa. "What do you think I'm hiding?" She questioned as i sat down across from her.

My lips pressed in a thin line hating that I can hear Billy's voice chanting in my head, say it!

"Are you and Jonathan dating?"

I'll be re-reading the beginning of the book to remember where I left off. Just thought I'd let you know.