**𝐏𝐥𝐨𝐭 𝐬𝐮𝐦𝐦𝐚𝐫𝐲 (𝐓𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐢𝐬 𝐧𝐨𝐭 𝐚 𝐫𝐨𝐦𝐚𝐧𝐜𝐞 𝐬𝐭𝐨𝐫𝐲): 𝐀 𝐟𝐚𝐦𝐢𝐥𝐲 𝐭𝐫𝐢𝐩 𝐭𝐨 𝐏𝐚𝐫𝐢𝐬 𝐥𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐬 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐭𝐨 𝐝𝐢𝐬𝐜𝐨𝐯𝐞𝐫 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐥𝐢𝐤𝐞 𝐰𝐨𝐦𝐞𝐧 𝐫𝐚𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐧 𝐦𝐞𝐧, 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐟𝐢𝐧𝐝 𝐓𝐡𝐨𝐦𝐚𝐬, 𝐚𝐬𝐤𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐡𝐢𝐦 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐚𝐝𝐯𝐢𝐜𝐞 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐮𝐧𝐝𝐞𝐫𝐬𝐭𝐚𝐧𝐝𝐢𝐧𝐠.**
'I am still me...just not quite.' You thought to yourself, sat down fumbling with your fingers. Recently, you and your sisters; Mary, Edith and Sybil; had been to Paris, where everyone is modern and free. It's 1913, so why not have a little fun in France. However, you found yourself sat in the library, conflicted, confused and generally angry at yourself for letting this thing happen. You knew you didn't like the men that had pursued you, but you just put that down to not finding your type. Turns out a night in France with the most beautiful woman you'd ever seen named Sylvia changed all that and now you felt as though your world was crumbling around you.
After Mary and Sybil got married, and even Edith was so close to it, at least she was in love with a man, you felt as though it was your turn. Nana would start to get suspicious as to why you haven't found anyone yet and then you'll be the old maid of the family, forever sworn to be alone and silent. Or, married off to a horrible man to keep money flowing to Downton. You knew father and mother wouldn't intentionally make you unhappy, but you knew that whatever could be done had to be done had to to save your home.
"Can I help M'lady?" You heard a voice from behind you that interrupted your troubled thoughts, and you quickly wiped your tears. Turning around you saw Thomas the head valet stood in the doorway. You sighed and turned to face him, so he saw your eyes slightly red and puffy. "Oh, M'lady what is wrong, might I ask?"
"I-it's nothing. Honestly. Nothing you could help with anyway." You mumbled, which bristled Thomas up for a challenge.
"I'm sure I could help M'lady, or at least try my hardest too." The man tried one last time, and you crumbled easily, breaking down into another fit of angry tears.
"Oh, Its just...I...uh..." You wiped your eyes again and inhaled deeply, "as you know our family went to Paris recently and I..."
"You had to leave a handsome fellow behind?" He guessed.
"Something like that." You sniffled, unsure whether to tell him the whole story or not. You and Thomas seemed to be good friends, but your father had warned you against befriending him. You assumed it was because he was lower class, but you saw how Thomas was a sweet man at heart who just wanted to prove himself. Deciding you would throw all your trust on this friendship, you made the servant swear himself to secrecy. "You cannot tell a soul, not even Papa." You stared the man in his chocolate brown eyes and he nodded.
"Who did you leave in Paris, M'lady?" He asked, bracing himself for the answer.
"I...whilst I was there I made dear friend called Sylvia and we had such fun together. Soon, mother and father realised we were very close and- after a lot of begging- trusted me to stay at Sylvia's flat for a night rather than the hotel. So, I stayed there and...and..." You squeezed your eyes shut. "I love her." Opening your eyes and waiting for the man to go scrambling about the place shouting of your sins, your heart rate started picking up and your face was going gradually red. "I know it's wrong and I know I shouldn't have these thoughts about her, but It can't help but feel so...so..."
"Right?" The man finished, his eyes glassy and his hands by his side. Little did you know the man was ecstatic, He had finally found someone like him who knew what it felt like. Thomas remembered what it was like when he told his mother, thinking she would love him with open arms, but no. He knew he was so scared when he first realised he was homosexual and couldn't bare to look at himself in a mirror, but now he was stronger and better for it.
"What can I do?" You asked the man, looking at him desperately. "I know there are camps and certain places where you can...reverse this sort of thing and as long as no one knew I could be normal in no time?" It was supposed to sound more like a statement, but came out as a question when you saw Thomas almost shaking with anger before you.
"Don't talk about yourself like that. As if you have some sort of disease. There is nothing wrong with you and don't let anyone else tell you different. And those camps. No. I will not have anyone in the world- especially you- subject to torture." He spat out and you felt yourself smile. You saw in that moment that he cared.
Thomas really cared. So, as he swore to keep your secret safe, you knew he accepted you for who you really were. You never felt so happy and safe your entire life.
