Am I not enough???

Chapter 12

Bey's p.o.v

My phone went off for the hundredth time, waking me out my sleep.

"Ughhhhhh shut the fuck up!" I put it on silent not even bothering to check the messages.

I pulled the covers back over my face when my phone started vibrating.

"Omfg!" I punched the air and decided to check my phone.

I had over a thousand messages and miss calls  from Nicki and Cardi and some from my sisters Kelly and solange. Wtf they never message me.

I got another call from cardi and huffed really loud.

Phone convo

"what do u want?! Blowing up my damn phone! Someone better be dying, if not hop off my line!"

"Bey!" She yelled screaming all up in my ear.

"Ugh what?!"

"Are you okay??? Why haven't you been answering any one???"

I scrunched up my face.

"So you woke me up to ask if I'm okay? So you, solonge, Kelly and Nicki all blew up my phone to ask if I was okay?"

She got silent.

"Haha good bye"

I hung up and tossed my phone to the side.

Phone convo over

I'm going back to sleep, h-ha! Fuck you mean!

I turned my phone off and threw it somewhere getting under the covers and going back to sleep.

***********
"Dear diary,

People out here calling my story bullshit
When I got the scars to prove it
You was out here cheating and lying
When I was sitting at home slitting my wrists and crying
You told me you loved me and there was no one else
But you were only lying
so when you lie to me your only lying to your self
You hurt me and I still stayed
I don't know why, when I knew I that i was gonna get played
I was sitting at home contemplating suicide and overdosing-gco

As I was finishing up another song I guess, I haven't decided what I want this to be yet, I got a call.

I turned my phone back on when I woke up and I wish I didn't.

I looked at the called ID and it was Nicki. I rolled my eyes so hard that they could've got stuck.

"Mhm now don't answer it". I looked to my side and saw my best friend from day one sitting there.

I don't wanna anyways but she won't stop calling.

"She didn't answer your calls when you needed her. You even said it in your diary. She's not worth it bey trust."

"Girl shut up! You don't know shit! Answer it bey"

Sash, what you doing here? Wait who are you? I asked pointing at the one that was here first.

"Giselle bitch. How do you not know me? You created me."

I don't remember a Giselle.

"Because she was never there! She was never there for you! I was"

"Shut up you stank ass hoe, all you did was get her hurt. You saying I was never there and that's how Nicki was never there. You think you all big and mighty, thinking that you're helping but yo ego's to big to see that you're actually hurting her."

They both went back and forth for a while so I just got up and left them downstairs bickering.

I have a headache man, I need a drink.

I grabbed a bottle Hennessy and downed that bitch. Ain't no body can down a whole bottle like me.

I went back downstairs and they were still going at it.

Ight..... imma head out😂😂. Jk I'm going to bed.

They just ignored me so I just shrugged and went back upstairs to sleep. My bed is really my best friend. It's here for me through everything. I love it so much.

Night y'all.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Diary song/poem or something entry credit: me

Random chapter. Just wrote to post.

Sorry for any mistakes.

I swear I only ever write this book when I'm depressed or something haha. (This is so true💀)

Anyways hope y'all enjoy this chapter.

Have a nice day/night. Love y'all 🥰🖤.