Let's start over

Chapter 15

Emily's P.O.V

After that unexpected encounter in the corner shop, I bolted straight to the comfort of my home and plopped down on the couch. Why was everyone coming back into my life when I was at my worst, hurting myself to no limits? Maybe it's a sign, telling me to stop being so stupid and do something with my life? Or maybe it was just me overreacting, either way, I knew I had to pull myself together. My phone was going off every few minutes but I didn't dare look at it. I knew that Lauren was probably worried and losing her sanity over the fact that I wasn't there when she woke up but I couldn't speak to her. I wasn't letting myself do that , let myself get whirled in by my tattered emotions that were starting to control me. 

My mum came home an hour ago and she was now taking a nap. I decided to pull out my phone so that I could see if Alex had text me. I ignored the countless missed calls, texts and even some voicemails as I scrolled to his message.

Alex:7pm, be at '3am'.  Don't be late, Em x

Me:Drinking is my virtue and the key to my sanity, I wouldn't dare be late.

Alex: Same old Em, hasn't changed a bit.

Me: If only that was in any shape or form correct, I'll see you at dinner. 

I replied before throwing myself back onto the couch. Alex was the only one back in the days that actually cared for me and it hurts me to lie to him for now but I couldn't tell him how f.ucked up my life has become. Never. He hasn't been there for me over these past few years and I wouldn't let myself go. I'm not exactly sure what me and Lauren are anymore. It was all cute and lovely last night until I dropped the bombshell and she was basically shouting at me because I didn't tell her about Alison stumbling into my house. I was more confused than ever. 

Looking over to the clock, I shot up from my seat. It was now 6pm and if I was going to be ready on time, I knew I had to start getting ready for the club. Stumbling into my room, I discarded all of my clothes, leaving me in my underwear, not bothering to close my curtains. To be honest, my neighbour was a private-school attending gay that has been my neighbour since we were little, so I didn't ever feel the need to cover up. Actually ,sometimes, we would talk to each other through the windows half-naked. Power of gay friendship.

The closet was a mess as I tore through it ,trying to find the perfect outfit. Finally, I decided on a plain white dress, that was cut of on the chest, reching down my stomach, only covered by a thin layer of lace. I paired it with some black strappy heels and a beautiful gem clutch before putting my hair in a fishtail braid and reapplying my red lipstick. I looked amazing and I was proud. I didn't care about anyone in this moment, I just wanted to go out and get smashed with my first best friend and the guy that I used to be infatuated with.

Lauren's P.O.V

I stumbled into my bedroom ,faceplanting the bed. Emily hasn't been replying to my texts all day and she left without a word. I think it's pretty clear what her intentions towards me are and I can't stop her. She loves me ,I know it , but she's not in love with me. And strangely, I was okay with that. I had just come back from grabbing a Starbucks where I met Noel once again, him inviting me out to the club. Normally, I would have said no, but today, my attitude was completely diffrerent. 

Grabbing the door handle on my closet, I pulled it open and searched for the perfect outfit. Finally, I settle on a simple black tight skirt and a long sleeved white crop top. Nothing too over the top, composed but ready to have fun. Exactly what I needed. I paired it with some white flats and grabbed a simple over-the-shoulder black bag. Smearing on the red lipstick, I hear the car horn, signalling me to make my way downstairs. I strutted down the stairs and out the door, calling out a simple bye to my parents before climbing into Noel's car. He smiled at me as I placed a small but relatively friendly kiss on his cheek, nothing too forward.

"Hey babe, ready to go?" Noel asked as I nodded, slightly unsure. I should go and look for Emily. She poured her heart out to me last night and she obviously left because she didn't feel comfortable about it, and to add to that, I shouted at the fact that Alison was in her house and she didn't call me. Why did I even do that? She was pouring everything out, things she had only told me and I literally f.ucked up everything. There is so much more that will ruin us. My heart dropped last night when she mentioned the terrible and cruel things that Alison did to her. But little did she know that at one point, I was like that too. 

We finally arrived at the club as the sky turned darker and darker. It was turning colder as it was nearing the end of October, but I didn't mind, at least it numbed me. I needed that to be honest. To be numb. To forget about everything and just let go. Noel took my hand as he came up to the bouncer, who happened to be one of his buddies, as he let us in immedietely. I relaxed as we entered, being hit with the loud vibrations of the music and the smell of sweat. Great night ahead then. Sarcasm intended. I felt Noel pull me through the grinding couples to our booth that he must have had reserved. We sat down and a waiter came over ,asking for our orders. Noel ordered some straight shots whilst I ordered some scotch, the need for alcohol consuming me. 

5 glasses of scotch and too many shots later, I made my way to the bar, deciding to grab a glass of water to sober me up. We've been here for about 2 hours and both Noel and I were smashed to no limit. It was crazy. Couple of drunk men tried to grab me onto the dance floor as I pushed through, flipping them off in the process. I needed water and that's all I knew. Finally making it to the bar, I leaned down onto the stool and called the bar tender over.

"Water pleaseee!" I slur, shouting over the music as she nods, giving me a reassuring smile. Whatever. I sit there, drinking down the bottle of water in front of me, trying to figyre out how I had gotten to this place. Without Emily. Without a purpose. Noel was pissed so he wouldn't even realise if I left. Just as I was about to get up, a much too similar voice called out. 

"Lauren?"