Kotlc Oneshots

...that's a lot of cats. - platonic Sokeefe and some Kam

"What do you mean, I have the majority of the world? You're a human too, kid! Or are you an alien or something? Besides, humans have the whole world at our fingertips, not just the majority." 

"Did I say I wasn't a human? All I meant was that people like you are willing to destroy anything for our world's resources. And, uh, I meant that humans can't really use, like, deserts and stuff." Keefe attempted to recover. He could feel the woman's scorn though the air. He decided to change the topic. "Uh, what did you mean by the euthanasia list?" Keefe felt Sophie flinch beside him. The woman rolled her eyes.

"Oh, you must be one of those sheltered kids. Well, honey, euthanasia is when we get rid of animals we don't need. Sometimes because they're old or sick or aggressive, but right now it's just because there are too many." Keefe realized what she was implying.

"You kill cats just because you're too lazy to take care of them?" He asked sharply. The woman nodded, no longer bothering to reply.

"Keefe—" Sophie tried to break in. Keefe shook his head at her.

"Sorry, Foster. But I just can't stand for this." He said. He then spun on his heels and walked over to the wall of cages. Over the course of the next hour, he walked around to every single cat. Sophie also walked around, using her Polyglot skills to chat with the cats and tell them that it was okay. The woman at the desk kept informing them that they were insane.

"They're all so beautiful and sweet." Keefe said when he and Sophie met up. "They don't deserve to die just because some humans think there's too many of them." Sophie smiled sadly and opened her mouth to respond when the woman broke in.

"It's not just that there are to many of them. These ones are ugly and old and will never be adopted anyway." She scoffed. A wave of fury roared though Keefe. Hardly knowing what he was saying, he spat back:

"That's not true. They will be adopted."

"Oh yeah? By who?" She rolled her eyes.

"By me." Keefe heard the words echo through the cold, sterile room. It took him a moment to realize that he spoke them. Was he mad? What was Tam going to say when he came home to thirty cats?! All his doubts blew away, however, when he saw the grin on Sophie's face and the comical shock on the woman's face.  

"Y-you can't take all of them! That's 38 cats you're talking about!" She stammered. Keefe smirked. 

"We'll be back in a few minutes to take them home. Shall we, Foster?" He said properly, offering his arm to her. Sophie laughed and took his arm in hers. They walked out of the rescue and leaped back to Mooncove, the house where these 38 beautiful felines would be spending their years. Only then did Sophie explode.

"KEEFE! FOURTY CATS!?!? Tam is going to absolutely FLIP OUT!!!!" She yelled.

"Calm down, Foster. It's not forty; even I know better than to get that many. It's only thirty eight." 

"KEEFE! TAM IS GOING TO MURDER ME!" Sophie shrieked. Her golden brown eyes were the size of a ripplefluff. 

"You're adorable when you're mad, you know that?" He raised an eyebrow. Sophie opened her mouth for a retort, then closed it and sighed. 

"If I keep arguing, I'll be here until Tam gets home, and I do NOT want to be in the line of fire. Or, rather, the line of shadows. Lets just go get those cats." The two set off at a swift walk to the collection of cages from Havenfield. They then teleported back to San Diego. 

The woman's looked like she was going to faint when Keefe and Sophie strolled into the shelter and set down the huge assortment of carriers. After enough paperwork to drown a t-Rex, all 38 cats were legally his. 

It was... interesting to say the least getting them home - apparently, cats were NOT fans of teleporting. The cats were screaming like Bullhorn at a comatose patient when they emerged from the void onto the sandy beaches of Mooncove. 

Sophie helped him get the cats inside, then she pulled stakes and left. She said something about getting out of the crossfire before Tam got home. It was probably good that she left, though, because about ten minutes after she teleported back to Havenfield, Tam appeared on the doorstep in a flurry of light. Thankfully, Keefe was prepared.

"Hey honey! How have you been? I missed you sooooo much!" Keefe said sweetly as he opened the door for his lovely husband. The man in question narrowed his eyes suspiciously.

"Keefe... what did you do now?" Tam asked with a raised eyebrow. Keefe had to hold back the odd cough/laugh/wheeze that was working its way up his throat.

"Nothing! Hey, I made you some Pudding Puffs! They're chocolate mint - your favorite!" The blond haired man smiled disarmingly as he held out an abalone platter of the delicacies. Tam frowned, though a smile peeked through his lips as a beam of sunlight sneaks through clouds.

"Keefe, now I'm really getting nervous. Did you light the kitchen on fire, or...?" 

"Of course not! Who said I did anything wrong?" Keefe fought to keep his voice from rising in pitch. 

"Babe, you literally never cook, usually when I come home you're curled up on the couch being adorable - I mean lazy - and you never act this anxious for me to walk in the door! So what's up? Just tell me - it's better than waiting for me to guess, right? I promise I won't get mad." Tam told him. His wry voice just failed to hide a note of gentle sincerity. The dark haired elf's silvery eyes glinted in the light.

"Um. I just wanted to surprise you? And, uh... you like cats, right?" Keefe asked, swallowing uncomfortably. Tam opened and closed his mouth. His beautiful eyes widened for a moment, then crinkled. He laughed that deep, joyous laugh that Keefe fell in love with so many years before. 

"Oh, Stars... you sound... so much... like Linh!" He managed to say between laughs. His husband's laughter was so contagious that Keefe began laughing too. "I suppose you have a cat or ten in there somewhere?" Tam asked, his whole face crinkled with the joy that so rarely graced his stoic face.

"Hehehe... um. So. How about fourty?" Keefe said quietly, scrunching his head down towards his shoulders and his eyes together into an adorable, sheepish grimace. There was a moment of silence, and then another fit of laughter.

"My gosh, Keefe, you've married the wrong twin! I swear you are literally Linh's soulmate right now. Thank heavens we're married, though - who else would be insane enough to buy fourty cats? God, I love you." He added after he finally stopped laughing. "Now. I want to see some cats!"

And so it was that when the happy pair fell asleep that evening, they were surrounded by a fluffy wreath of the happiest cats on the planet.

Holy holiness, guys. I am so sorry that took so long. I'm the worst procrastinator ever. Also... nearly 2000 words! That one just did not want to provide a good ending point. So... I hope you guys enjoyed it. I'll try to get another one out this weekend. And this time, I'll actually do it. Hopefully. 

Peace, love, and Mallowmelt, my wonderful friends!!!