Villain

1- Behold My Glorious End

The fire burnt fiercely, even hotter than before.
I lay on the floor panting, knowing it was the end of me. The hooded figure stepped closer and impaled me with his sword-on-a-rod thingy.
The world knew it as The Evil Slayer.

Quite a lame name I tell you.

The figure, the owner of The Evil Slayer, Ash Wellow, the greatest hero of all time, glared at me.

"What are you glaring at huh?" I rasped out, "Who designated our positions huh? Who made you the hero and me, the villain?"
He narrowed his eyes at me, blood dripping from his mouth.

"Circumstances." I whispered.

I was pretty proud of that one, to be able to come up with something so wise and quotable on the verge of death. Huh. I'm pretty awesome.
Or I was.

"Not circumstances," Ash, The greatest hero, owner of the- nevermind, he went by the name of 'Saviour'- snarled at me.

Honestly though, who snarls anymore??

"Not circumstances you evil man, it was your decisions that you took under those circumstances that led you here."
I dunno why, but it made me laugh.

"Yeah. Circumstances led me to those decisions, boy." I rasped out coughing blood.

"I don't have time for this. Tell this to people after you're dead."

I laughed as he finally ended me with one last blow of The Evil Slayer.

To be honest, that was a pretty good speech. My last word were pretty cool.
Right?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
And then?
Well, then I died.

Now, you must be asking, if he's dead, who's telling this story?

Well, that's exactly the kind of thing we are not here to discuss.

Let me just say, afterlife has its own advantages.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Now, let us get on with this.
After all, I have all the time in the world now.

Wait.
Do you even know who I am?
No?
Woah. That's... Disturbing.

Well, I am Zuke Wellow.

Now, some of you smart people must be thinking,
"OmG WaIT iSn'T tHaT SavIOr'S rEAl nAmE?wElLow?"

Ha. Actually, and this is pretty embarrassing, but...
Ash is my nephew.

Yeah. My brother's son.

If you were to see me, you wouldn't think of me as a dude who is a villain. I mean, they're supposed to be evil right? They radiate this, evil aura. Believe me I've been near some real dangerous ones. Pretty crazy ones too.
But you know what an article said about me?

"An evil villain is dangerous. But a funny one is even more dangerous."
It wasn't a really good headline- it later said that you never know when I'm joking and when I'm not- but if you dissect this particular statement, you will realize that my personality isn't something you can so easily define. Especially using a word.

No. I am unique. That was my motto for a large part of my life. It was my driving force.

Now, why was I called funny?

Well, how many villains actually pull off
"well well well, we yeet again my dudes."?
Ha. I was the only one. (Trust me, many tried and failed. #epicfails)

Actually, it's hilarious to see their faces. That moment when you expect something so evil, so gruesome, but instead you get "slanged".
It makes you wonder about the person's mentality.