On my block played, full blast. You were covered in a big white blanket while you wore some shorts and a tank top. The dog chilled on your side, asleep.
You had a face mask on. Coconut scented. Your room was still cold and it smelled like strawberries. Huh, wonder why.
It was like that for a while. You and the dog. Nothing else to bother you. The curtains covered the big window that exposed you to the outside world. But something felt so good about the moment. It was real chill and I dunno...
Nice.
Someone had knocked on your door. "Come in." You said softly. But in came Jah. "Hey ma." He replied sitting down on your side. The dog had woke up and sat on his lap after he moved some drinks to the side. He lifted a lid and gestured it to the dog, him leaning in. The dog lifted his face from the cup after a few second, whipped cream sliding off.
You giggled along with Jah as he looked up at you. "There's a drink for you there." He said still giving his full attention to the dog. On your beds ledge, was placed a Starbucks drink. A frappe. It's been a while since you've had one. "Thanks.." you said rising the volume on the TV. He nodded and continued with the dog.
A little time passed before he got comfy next to you, pulled a blanket over him and the dog, and chilled with you. You two weren't hugging or anything, but you could feel his body heat real close. Real.. close..
You were so focused on the tv and with your drink, that you didn't realize he was asleep. The dog was too. Huh, cute.
You stood, walking to the bathroom. You peeled off the face mask, and patted the excess.
Soon, you fell asleep too.
7:57 pm
It was still raining by the time you woke up. You weren't surprised though. You liked it. Hopefully it rains for a while. You lowered the TV's volume and looked over to Jah. He was dead asleep.
You got up and went to the kitchen for a snack. Maybe go to sleep again after that. You placed your slides on and traveled down the stairs to the kitchen.
It was real dark and quiet. Well not totally quiet but you could hear Craig blasting some of his own music. Typical Craig. You giggled.
You make yourself something small. (Anything of your choice babes)
You sat down and began to eat, scrolling on insta. Someone had called you, and you looked at the contacts name for a bit.
Your mom.
Your heart sank, literally. You brightened the light in the kitchen a bit more, fixed your hair, sat up straight and placed an unbothered expression. You answered.
You're birth giver just looked at you. "Hey darling..." she softly smiled.
For some reason, you couldn't hear Craig's music anymore.
It was deadly, quiet.
You're heart was beating really fast.
You started breathing really fast.
You started shaking.
"Hi mom" you managed to let out.
Her smile grew bigger. "Baby, where are you..? We miss you. Your brother and sister miss you. A lot. Your dad misses you...I miss you." She ended.
"Why."
"Because you're my everything. My baby..."
"You barley talked to me.."
"Baby, I was always busy you know that.."
"You were always busy because you didn't wanna see me."
"I didn't feel comfortable there ma, I didn't think you wanted me."
"That's why you talk to me."
"I tried but nothing. It's nothing bad anyways..."
"You fucking left us. You fucking bitch..."
You began to tear up, you stopped thinking about everything and anything. Your mindset, your thoughts, everything was full of shame. Shame of leaving her. Shame of not going back. Shame of not being a good daughter.
You shook your head "no you didn't want me. People who actually love and appreciate me took me as their own. When you weren't there. So-"
You didn't want to say this to her. But she hurt you so much even if it was just verbally rarely physically. Oh how much you hated her for not actually giving you the love and affection a mother should.
You started crying. Not a lot, but many years rolled down, warm as hell down your cheeks.
"Fuck you. I never loved you, don't call me ever again. You're nothing to me." You began wiping your tears after the statement.
She just looked at you. "Come back." Was all she said before you hung up and blocked her immediately.
Dude, she was my mom. My mother, my birth giver my beginner my everything . Well, she was supposed to be.
I guess not.
((Ahhhh hi babes. It's been a while and I'm real sorry. I know this one was random but I just wanted to add something.
So this was updated on October 18th, and of course it's a day in the month a ton of us look back to mourn Jahs death. But did any of you guys see Craig Xen, Bass, Coolie and some of the other guys from MO fight?
I know Craig and coolie left, but I'm keeping them in. But I'm so sad they left, really. I look at it and I'm sad. Seems like they're all slowlyyyy parting. But hopefully some of the guys stay. I was watching the lives of Bass and Craig yelling pissed and it Lowkey hurt. :((((
Anyways sorry for any mistakes,,,I love you guys have a good rest of your day/night 🖤))
