blackmail | the society

truth

"thank you so much." i say, pulling kelly into a hug. she gives me a small smile, before quickly dismissing me so she can attend to other people.

i raise my eyebrows at grizz, unsure as to why kelly was suddenly so brash with me. however, i shake it off, grabbing his hand to walk off.

he makes sure we're okay to go before pulling me away. i see his quick glance towards becca and sam, making me secure direct eye contact with becca. i don't want her to think i'm ignoring her so i consider whether it's best if i talk to her. on the other hand, grizz seems to want to dash out of the clinic as soon as possible.

i stop and i give grizz an apologetic look as he watches me with sceptical eyes. i tell him i'll meet him outside as i squeeze his hand, and leave his grasp to walk up to becca.

"hey, becca, how are you?" i ask, reaching over her to give her a hug.

"i'm good, thank you," she smiles, nodding appreciatively, "but, how are you? i heard you got sick."

"i did but i'm okay now, i think most people are from whatever happened after thanksgiving," i say, but i find my eyes flicking between sam and becca.

they faces read completely different emotions. becca looks so happy; happier than i've seen anyone in this town recently. whereas, sam looks absolutely distraught. my mind immediately goes to grizz as i think about what grizz told me. sam's going to be a dad and he slept with grizz.

he's going to be a dad.

becca's going to be a mom.

i could have been a mom.

"are you okay?" becca says worriedly, moving her hand from where it was placed on reaching up to put her hand on my arm.

i open my mouth to answer, suddenly feeling panicked, "yes."

"you don't look it," sam signs.

becca face changes and i think she realises. she remembers the supermarket; she remembers my pregnancy test.

she lets out a small gasp, causing me to look at her. every single word i could possibly think of has gone and i'm rendered speechless.

"oh my god," she says sadly, "i'm so sorry."

i shake my head at her, indicating that it really isn't something to get worried over. hypocritically, i'm trying to not cry in this very moment.

"it's not your fault."

"but, i feel bad. i'm pregnant and you could have been," she whispers. "you would have been in the same position as me; we could have gone through it together."

"at least your baby will have a great dad," i smile, looking over at sam. sam looks down sadly and i have a small suspicion that it has something to do with grizz.

becca's lips turn into a smile as she looks between me and sam, "i'm guessing harry was...?"

my back pricks up at his name and i shift uncomfortably, "harry was what?"

"the dad."

i stare at her blankly, "oh... no. he wasn't. you wouldn't have known the dad."

i fall into a deep set of thoughts in this moment as i wonder what harry would be like as a dad. i wonder if he would have wanted anything to do with it; if he'd have rejected the idea of being a father. on the other hand, i wonder if it would make him better mentally. maybe he'd want to make this place better because of his young child, his son or daughter.

i snap out of my thoughts, muttering to becca, "i actually have to go, grizz is waiting for me."

sam's eyes flicker down sadly as i mention grizz and as he looks back up i send him a sympathetic smile, although knowing i'm biased to be on grizz's side as he's one of my best friends.