Shakespeare one shots

Ham: 1/7 of Hamlet; Prince of Denmark

OHMYGODOHMYGODOHMYGOD

I FOUND IT

I FOUND HAM

I CANNOT COME CLOSE TO DESCRIBING HOW HAPPY I AM RN

Context? Nah. I played Horatio. A lot of it's crap because this was 5th grade but I'll edit as best I can. Enjoy!

♤♤♤♤♤♤♤♤♤♤♤

Ham (1/7 of Hamlet Prince of Denmark)

Adapted from Tom Stoppard’s Fifteen Minute Hamlet and Shake Hands
With Shakespeare by Albert Collum (with a fair bit of Heron mixed in)

Cast list:
Bernardo - Ila (she was sweet)
Horatio - Moi (hehehe you don't get my name)
Marcellus - Johann (traitor...)
Claudius - Cat (she's been cast as the bad guy ever since)
Gertrude - Linnea (ah, the queen)
Rosencrantz - Tea (left hand sock puppet)
Guildenstern - Also Tea (right hand sock puppet)
Hamlet - Millie (she was so good)
Ghost - Holden (NEVER FORGET THE DISCO PANTS)
Ophelia - Maggie (I miss her so much)
Laertes - Nathan (still A Thing)
Polonius - Willow (she misses Maggie too)
Puppeteer 1 - Ava
Puppeteer 2 - Everett
Gravedigger - Kayla (I'm like 55% sure)
Yorick - Kevin the skull (he wears a viking helmet most of the time)
Osric - Sigrid (this was the best casting decision ever and no one can change my mind)
Shakespeare - Ashton (lowkey forgot he was in this but okay)

Shakespeare:
Thank you for coming to the Herons play, Hamlet... wait, it’s not Hamlet. Oh, sorry ladies and gentlemen, it’s the Herons play “Ham” which I am being told is one seventh of my play, Hamlet; Prince of Denmark. I hope you enjoy!

(Shakespeare exits stage)

Scene 1
Castle walls. Storm. Night.

Bernardo: Who’s there?

Horatio: Nay. answer me.

Bernardo: Long live the King. Get thee to bed.

Horatio: For this relief, much thanks.

Bernardo: What, has the thing appeared again tonight?

Horatio: Peace, break thee off: look where it comes again. (Points left)

Bernardo: Looks it not like the King?

Horatio: By heaven, I charge thee speak!

Bernardo: (points and looks left) ‘Tis here

Horatio: (points and looks right) ‘Tis there

Bernardo and Horatio (looks center): Tis gone.

Horatio: But look, the morn in russet mantle clad walks o’er the dew of yon high eastern hill.

Marcellus: PERSONIFICATION!

Bernardo: Let us impart what we have seen tonight unto young Ham Omelet.

Marcellus: It's Hamlet!

(Exit all)

Scene 2
A nice castle room. Flourish of trumpets as Claudius and Gertrude enter. Rozencrantz and Guildenstern are present.

Claudius: Though yet of Hamlet our dear brother’s death, the memory be green (Gertrude, Rosencrantz and Guildenstern look very sad and nod)

(Enter Hamlet)

Our sometime sister, now our Queen,
Have we taken to wife. (Gertrude fawns over Claudius)