|14| i just can't

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ellie

It had been a couple of weeks since I found out my mother wanted to finally see me. Dad hasn't mentioned much of it. It was now Saturday, and it was around an hour before I had to go meet Reid. We are going to a new spot today. Apparently, Reid stumbled upon it someday last week, so we decided to try it out. 

My Dad to run into work, to grab somethings for a presentation he had on Monday, so I was alone right now.

Things between my dad and I had been pretty great. Everything was back to normal. No more secrets. I had missed it when we were so distant, and now we are closer than ever. It's hard to believe one little secret could create such a rift between us. But, all of that is over now.

I check the time. Shit, I'm going to be late if I don't go now. Grabbing my keys and my phone, I head to the car and drive to the latest spot Reid and I had found. 

Reaching the cliff around ten minutes later, I get out of the car to see Reid already there, waiting for me.

"Hey partner," He greets.

"Why hello," I respond with a laugh.

"For a second I thought you weren't coming. I know you hate being late and you've never shown up late before. So, for worrying me, I think you owe me something," He teases.

"And what do you suppose I owe you," I question, shaking my head.

"Haven't figured it out yet, but when I do you'll be the first to know," he smiles.

"Whatever you say, Reidypoo," I reply.

He glares.

"You know I don't like being called that," he states, unimpressed.

"You've never even called me by my actual name, I think it's only fair I get to give you a nickname," I reply.

"I call you Elle because I like being the only person calling you that, and you can give me a nickname, just not that one," He explains.

My heart flutters at the thought of him calling me Elle because he's the only one that does. Wait...what? Snap out of it Ellie, he's you're friend. You're best friend. He doesn't even like you like that. Or does he? Oh god.

"Elle"

"Yeah?" I question.

I turn to Reid, our faces, dangerously close. My eyes widen but I don't pull away. The tension between us is undeniable and I'm not oblivious to it. 

Reid leans closer and I take that as my signal to do so, as well. Our lips are centimeters apart. As my eyes close, I feel Reid's lips brush against mine. The kiss is soft and welcoming. I move my lips with his slowly, as if prolonging the moment. This isn't my first kiss but it damn sure is the best kiss I've ever had. 

His hand snakes around my neck and pulls me closer, and I place a hand on the side of his face. The butterflies in my stomach are overwhelming my whole being and invading my mind. All I can think about it Reid and how the softness of his lips.  

The kiss slows and we reluctantly pull away. 

My eyes bulge at the thought of what just happened.

I liked the kiss, I liked it a lot, but if there is one person who can hurt me. It's Reid, he could obliterate me and leave me in pieces. And I'm afraid I can't come back from it. 

I move back.

"Elle?" Reid asks.

I don't answer.

"What's wrong?" He asks.

"I have to go," I murmur, getting up and walking to my car.

"Elle wait!" he shouts running towards me.

"Reid I need to go," I repeat.

"Why? Why do you need to go all of a sudden?" He asks, finally catching up to me. I'm already at my car. 

"I just do," I state, not clarifying.

He puts his arms up beside me sides, trapping me against the car.

"Tell me what's going on and I'll let you go," Reid explains.

I keep quiet, how am I supposed to explain to him that he one of the only people that could destroy my heart? That he terrifies me, because of the power he has against me?

"Is it because I kissed you? Elle if that's it, why didn't you say something before? Why didn't you pull away or tell me to stop?" He questions.

I shake my head, "It's not because I didn't want you to kiss me, Reid. I..." I can't bring myself to tell him.

"What Elle?" 

"Just let me go, Ried, please." I plead quietly.

He lifts himself up and makes room for me to get by. I hurry and get into my car. As I put the car in drive, I can see him in the mirror. That hurt and concern on his face is as clear as day. 

"I'm sorry," I whisper to him, even though he can't hear me.

I drive off, into the night. I just want to get home. All my anxiety and stress is here with me right now. My head feels tight and I feel like I could cry. 

I reach home and scurry to my room.

Quickly putting on other clothes, and heading straight to bed. Maybe some sleep will make everything better.

If I know one thing, it's that Reid Foster could completely destroy me. The way he knows me like nobody else does and nobody ever will. he can see straight through my bullshit, and make me feel like I'm on cloud nine. He could leave me in pieces and I'd never been able to put myself together. And, I don't know if I'm willing to take that risk if I'm just going to get my heartbroken.

I feel the tears start running down my face, I hate that I've hurt him. But, I can't let him in if all he's going to do is leave. I just can't.

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I hope you enjoyed chapter 14 of The Lonely Stars. I'm sorry for such the long wait and the chapter is a little short. I've honestly felt like I just couldn't put any words out. And honestly, I feel like I'm making the story go way to fast, so I might edit it later I don't know. But, I'm back and I hope to update more. When I'm finishing this chapter it's December 26th, 2019, so to whoever celebrates Christmas, Merry late Christmas! And if you don't celebrate Christmas Happy Holidays. Thank you for reading, I love y'all.

PLEASE VOTE, COMMENT, SHARE, AND FOLLOW!!!!

Love, Katie.






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