If I Knew Then

Chapter 13: Big Poppa

After the Fourth Of July weekend was over, the boys went right into performing some music festivals around the US, small ones where they could get the word out about their new album. They were getting impatient because they had not broken in the US yet and it was frustrating to be so huge in Europe that they needed extra security to go to Mc Donald's- but back home, nobody even knew they existed. They could practically hear the crickets chirping when they landed back in the states.

Nick and Brian had put off talking about Leighanne and the kiss for a while and just focused on the group, although Nick wanted to know what was going to happen between them so he decided that today was a good time to talk about it.

"Do you think all this work is going to pay off soon, Brian?" Nick asked to start a conversation when they were on their tour bus after a particularly grueling show day. They had interviews and press beforehand so there really wasn't any downtime other then when they could eat really quickly or sneak in a nap.

"I can't say for sure, but I'd like to think we will. Remember what Lou said? We will be larger than life and living in one of those huge mansions like he has before you know it. We'll blow our noses with hundred dollar bills and order pizza on gold trays." Brian smiled.

Nick seemed to contemplate this for a moment before he made a face.

"Dude, that kinda sounds gross. Why would you blow your nose on money?"

"I'm not saying we really will...it's just an expression, you goober." Brian laughed as he nudged Nick in the side.

"I'm not a goober, you're a goober!" Nick giggled, pouncing on top of Brian. They play wrestled until a voice made them look up.

"Having fun, boys?"

Nick stopped what he was doing when he spotted Lou, and Brian thought this was a little off considering he always thought Nick liked their manager. Lou was always friendly toward them and their families, getting them whatever they needed and throwing their birthday parties at his house. He would send them planes and limos to pick them up. It kind of gave them the taste of a much better life and after seeing how Nick lived, Brian thought that Lou's house seemed like Disneyland.

"Hi, Lou." Nick said in a less than enthusiastic tone.

Their manager smiled at both of them and continued to the back of the bus where Nick's mom was tidying up the bunk area.

"Nick, is everything okay?" Brian asked. Nick looked at the floor, as if he were thinking of something to say.

"Yeah...yeah, everything's fine. No problem." Nick sighed.

Brian made a mental note to keep an eye on Nick when Lou was around because he sensed something was definitely wrong.

"So are we ever going to talk about what happened in Cocoa Beach, or are we going to keep skirting around it?" Nick whispered, making sure that Lou or his mother were nowhere in hearing distance of their conversation. They'd resumed their seats at the little kitchen table towards the front of the bus and started a game of Go Fish with a deck of cards Kevin had left there.

"What is there to say, Nick? I told you, I don't have any feelings for you." Brian lied. His chest was bothering him and he brushed it off again.

"Why are you making that face? Are you okay?"

"It's nothing." Brian lied, feeling anxious again. He hated when people pointed out things that were wrong with him, or when he was doing something wrong. Brian was a perfectionist. Imperfection made him upset.

Nick looked around to see if anyone was listening and started whispering so only Brian could hear. They could hear Nick's mother and Lou talking by the bunk area about Aaron and the Europe tour.