If I Knew Then

Chapter 34: Confessions Part 3

The Backstreet Boys were performing at the San Remo Music Festival in Italy. Nick had a great time but inside, he wanted to throw up. All during the performance he kept looking over at Brian, wondering what he was thinking. He thought of all the times they'd been together intimately, when it was just them and nobody was there to judge them. It made him happy but sad at the same time because he knew he was protecting their group. He was doing this so that their hard work was not ruined.

"So what's everyone doing after the show?" Brian asked backstage when they were getting ready to leave.

"Nick and I are hanging out, right roomie?" AJ said brightly, putting his arm around Nick. Nick gave a half hearted smile.

"That's cool." Brian said. He couldn't help but feel a little bit jealous that Nick was going to be spending time with someone else.

"Hanging out responsibly, I hope?" Kevin asked, raising an eyebrow at them. Everyone knew as soon as they'd get to Europe AJ would be partying since he couldn't at home.

"Of course! Would I lie to you?"

Kevin and Brian exchanged looks because AJ was the worst liar in the whole group. Nick smiled nervously again and disappeared along with AJ to the van that would bring them back to the hotel.

"I don't like the sounds of that." Kevin muttered when he and Brian were in the other van with Howie.

"Sound of what? They're just going to be in the room. How much trouble could they possibly get into?" Howie laughed.

"I think you're being paranoid again."

"Well I didn't like the sound of it either. The three of us know AJ doesn't hold his word and now he's going to drag Nick down with him? I don't think this is a good idea. Especially because Nick is depressed right now-" Kevin said before he stopped himself. Brian looked at him incredulously.

"Nick's depressed? Did he tell you that?" he asked.

"I...well, er- he didn't really say-"

"Did he say so, or didn't he?"

They got to the hotel and Kevin didn't answer until the two of them were in the elevator. Howie had stayed behind to have a drink at the bar downstairs.

"You didn't answer my question." Brian said after a minute of awkward silence.

"He didn't say. I just assumed cause you two are avoiding each other right now. So please don't shoot the messenger. I worry about both of you. He's been going through a lot of stuff and so have you, I don't think alcohol is the answer." Kevin explained.

"Did he tell you why he's been avoiding me since my birthday? I keep having this feeling like something happened and I don't know what it is. He won't even talk to me. Should I just go talk to him? He wouldn't say anything this morning when I confronted him about it."

"I think you should just leave it alone until he's ready to talk, you know how he gets when you push him. He's like you." Kevin chuckled.

"No, I think I need to talk to him before he does something stupid. I don't like him hanging out with AJ." Brian said, jamming his finger on the button for their floor after realizing he had never pushed it in the first place.

"Do I sense a little jealousy, perhaps?"

Brian's face turned several shades of red.

"That's ridiculous."

In reality, that's exactly what it was and Brian hated every second of it. He hated the fact that Nick wanted to spend time with someone else, especially AJ. Sure, AJ was closer to him in age but they didn't have much in common except that they came from shitty family backgrounds. What would Nick possibly find attractive in him?