If I Knew Then

Chapter 41: Climbing The Walls

"You're crazy for going to see him." Kevin said, watching Nick check out from their hotel in France.

"I know what I'm doing, Kevin. I have to see him. I don't care what she said." Nick scoffed. He adjusted the strap on his backpack again and made sure he had everything. Part of him knew he was crazy too and he was possibly making a huge mistake but it was worth the risk. He had to try.

"I just think you are just walking into fire right now."

Nick rolled his eyes and they all left for the airport, because they were each going their separate ways for a while until their show in Jamaica in a couple weeks. Nick had bought a house in Florida but was barely moved in and didn't care. He just wanted to go and see Brian.

He didn't care about the outcome.

Brian was eating his lunch at the hospital when Leighanne came to see him that afternoon the day after the surgery. He was happy to get out of the bed for a little while because the doctors said that he had to try and move around when he could. He knew he was in great care at the hospital but he missed the other guys, especially Nick even though they were fighting right now. He tried not to think about that because he was warned to control his emotions and that stress could make him not heal properly. It was so much all at once and Brian was feeling overwhelmed to the point he wanted to cry. He wanted to cry even when he saw Leighanne because he just kept thinking of how she was the reason he fought with Nick, and she was the reason Nick was angry at him in the first place.

"Hi, sweetie. How are you feeling?" Leighanne asked, leaning down to kiss him. He was picking at the tray in front of him but nothing looked like it was eaten.

"I'm okay, I was just having some lunch." Brain said dully.

Leighanne sat down in a chair near him and they were silent for a few minutes.

"So my agent told me that there's a good chance I might get a part in that one movie I auditioned for...."

Brian tuned her out halfway through what she said, he was staring at the food in front of him and thinking.

"What do you think?"

"Huh?" Brian asked. He had zoned out without realizing.

"Never mind. You should eat, keep your strength up." Leighanne chuckled softly.

"I don't feel like eating. I honestly don't feel like anything right now." Brian answered. He didn't understand it but while he was feeling a little better through the little pain he had, he felt overwhelmed and sad. He was told that depression could happen and that it was common but he didn't understand why he felt like this. He felt just overwhelmingly sad, like he wanted to cry. He knew this anxiety was not good for healing and tried to boost his own mood but nothing seemed to help. Something was missing. He should have been happy to see his girlfriend but even that wasn't helping. He wished he knew what would help him feel better.

Nick had landed sometime that evening and didn't even stay at his hotel long even though he was tired from the fight from Europe. It was a seven hour flight and he felt like crap, probably even looked like crap- but he didn't care. He stopped at a gift shop in the airport and got Brian a present and a card then dropped his luggage off at the hotel. All the way to the hospital he felt nervous. What was he going to say? Would Brian want to see him? Unfortunately that's not who he saw first.

"Nick?"

Nick turned around and his heart sank because he was hoping he wouldn't run into Leighanne. She had spotted him.

"I-I'm here to see Brian. I flew here from France." Nick said, trying to sound confident.. This was the first time he'd been alone with her since she threatened him in the coffee shop in New York. Even now she stated him down with daggers in her eyes.