Rocket Queen (d.m)

1.9: New Years Betrayal

Henley's P.O.V

It's been five days since Tommy left. He said he had to get straight back to Los Angeles to start recording their new album. I didn't believe that, but I let him leave anyway. I'm sure he wanted to party with the insane rockstars that he hangs with. I don't blame him, though. I'm sure hanging with them is more fun than hanging with three teenagers that only have booze.

Now I sit in the living room of the boys' apartment. Steven and Duff sits on either side of me, avidly arguing about who can play guitar better. I wince as Steven's voice goes at least four octaves higher. It was to the point where Bella started to whimper. I laugh at how when Steven argues, he starts to sound like a girl with how high he forces his voice to go. I look down at the pug in my lap. She starts to fall asleep once again in my lap.

I haven't really went home since our 'party' Christmas Day. I only went to get changes of clothes, even though Duff would rather me wear his clothes. I've managed to keep Duff sober for three days. It doesn't sound like much of an accomplishment, but he was goin' through a bottle a day. I just don't want him to get addicted. Drinking is fine. I can drink as much alcohol as the next guy. It gets to be a problem when the person is dependent on the feeling that alcohol gives you. I don't want that to happen to Duff. I love him too much.

Yes, I said it. I love Duff.

Over the five days I've stayed here, I finally realized it.

I haven't really been apart from Duff since I practically moved in. We've been attached at the hip. Even a few times, Duff sat on the toilet seat while I was in the shower just to keep me company. I've done the same for him multiple times. One time nearly gave me a heart attack, however.

I was just sitting on the toilet, talking about music as I always do, when I heard a bang inside of the shower. I hopped up and pulled back the shower curtain. Duff was sitting in there with tears running down his face. He looked like he was hyperventilating. I knew instantly that he was having a panic attack. I managed to get him calmed down, but not after I climbed into the tub and held him for what felt like hours. He was so embarrassed when he calmed down, but I didn't mind. I was so worried about him. I'm just glad I was able to calm him. Now I'm more on edge about it.

Panic attacks aren't like anxiety attacks. Anxiety attacks are triggered by something specific that the person is thinking about. Panic attacks, however, are more spontaneous. They hit you even when you're in a good mood or have no reason to freak out.

That's why I have to pay closer attention to Duff now that I know about these attacks. I want to be there to help him at all times. I want to protect him all of the time.

Madeline still hasn't appeared. She didn't even call Steven. I guess she's really pissed. Stevie still has no idea. He's been torturing himself trying to figure it out. Eventually, I got him to calm down by watching some stupid movie I found. If I'm honest, I'm pretty pissed at Madeline for treating Steven like this. I'm sure he didn't mean whatever he said, and she knows it.

"Hey guys?" I say, interrupting their argument. They both instantly go quiet. Their attention is now solely on me. "I have to things to say." I hold up one finger. "One, what does it matter who plays the guitar better? Stevie, you're a drummer and Duffy, you're a bassist." I put up two fingers. "And two, would you guys want to go Sasha's tonight?"

"Why would we go to Sasha's?" Duff asks. "We've got everything we need here."

"We've been holed up in this apartment for days," I respond. "Don't you guys want to go out?"

"I'm in!" Steven says almost immediately.

I giggle. "I knew you would be." I turn to Duff. "What about you?"

"I'm in if you are, babe," Duff responds, kissing my temple.

I roll my eyes. "Of course I'm in. It was my idea."

Duff just laughs, standing up from the couch. He glances at the clock. "It's already nine."

"Let's go then!" Steven says happily, taking Bella from my lap and transferring her to the couch. He hauls me up, throwing me over his shoulder.

"Put me down, Stevie!"

"No! You're too pretty to walk!"

"That's supposed to be my line," Duff whines, following Steven out of the door.

"Too bad. You should've picked her up," Steven says, not letting me down despite my protests.

"I would like to be put down now!" I say, wiggling around. It was a failed attempt to get free. I hear Steven laugh at me. "Come on, Stevie! Put me down!"

"Not until we get to Sasha's," He responds.

I look up at Duff who's walking behind Steven. "Duff, please?"

Duff just laughs, leaning forward and kissing me on the lips. "Sorry, babe. I think this is pretty funny."

"Fuck you," I growl.

"I'm sure you will later," He winks.

This shuts me up. I feel my cheeks heat up with embarrassment. Duff just grins at me. He winks, then moves to walk next to Steven.

"Hey, I got a nice view of your ass up here," Duff laughs.

I swing my leg out and hear a satisfying "Ow!" from Duff. I grin evilly to myself as I wait to be put down. I love these two to death, but damn they can be pigs.

I sigh in relief as Steven finally puts me down. I smile as I see the familiar bar. It's been too long. I grab Duff's hand and guide him into the crowded bar. It seems that business is booming for Sasha. I grin as I see Sebastian and Colin both behind the bar. I watch Sasha rush back and forth between tables. Getting orders and giving drinks. I guess she's waitressing tonight.

She stops as she sees me. "Hey!"

I grin and hug her. "Sorry I haven't been 'round lately. It's been pretty hectic."

"Don't worry, darlin'! It's just good to have you and Madeline around again." Sasha's huge grin is contagious.

"Wait, me and Madeline?"

"Yeah! She's over at your usual table with some guy," She explains. I open my mouth to respond, but then someone calls her name. "Sorry, hun. We'll catch up later I promise!"

"Who could she be with?" Stevie asks, looking very put out.

I frown and walk over to our table. I feel my blood boil as I see Eva, Madeline, Jake, and Hyde at our table. The thing that really pisses me off, however, is the fact that she has her tongue down Hyde's throat.

"Madeline, what the fuck is wrong with you!" I yell, seeing Steven turn around and walk out of Sasha's the back way. I turn to Duff. "Go check on him. I'll be out in a minute."

"What do you mean?" Madeline asks, a cruel smile on her face.

"I mean, why would do this to Steven! He fucking loves you and you're doing this to him. He's heartbroken! I don't know about you, but I really don't want to see Stevie cry!" I yell at her.

I can tell that my words hit her hard, but she doesn't get a chance to speak. Hyde talks for her.

"A real man doesn't cry. He's obviously a pussy."

I don't think about what I'm doing. Before I know what's happening, I draw back my fist and punch Hyde square in the nose.

"Fuck you. Fuck all of you. Go rot in hell for all I care," I say, feeling my emotions take over.

I rush out the back way, my eyes searching for the boys. I spot them at the end of the alley and rush towards them. I can see Stevie crying. I don't say anything. I just pull him into my arms and hug him. He immediately hugs me back, happy to be in my arms.

"She doesn't deserve you."