Who's Fault?

Chapter Nineteen

As I pulled into the driveway and made my way upstairs. I went straight to the fridge, grabbed a bottle of water, and chugged it. I knew that within a couple minutes I'd get the urge to release my bladder, so for now I just had to wait.

I started thinking about the possibility of there actually being a child forming in my body and it was freaking terrifying. I had no idea what steps to take if there was. I knew I couldn't get rid of them; I didn't know if I was capable of keeping them or if I should give them away. The decision would be a difficult one to make and execute, no matter what. But this was all hypothetical. There was no way I was pregnant, especially not by Xavier.

Bringing the test with me into the bathroom, I went about my business and made sure I followed the directions for the stupid stick, so I could get the most accurate result. I, once again, was stuck playing the waiting game, after I finished up. Five minutes. I could last five minutes. Right?

I paced as I waited those five agonizingly long minutes. My thoughts continuously running. They never stopped. When my timer went off, I began to panic again. Picking the test up from the counter, I looked at it.

No.

No!

NO!

This is not happening. I can't be. I thought as I read the test over and over again. Pregnant.

My vision blurred, my heart felt like someone was squeezing the life out of it, and my throat closed up. My body scrunched to the floor, knees pulled up to my chin, and rocked back and forth. The only things going through my head were the word 'no' and flashbacks from the night that gave me nightmares every time I closed my eyes. Tears formed in my eyes at the things I was seeing in front of me.

It felt like it was happening again. Like Xavier was really in front of me, hovering over me. Touching, kissing, hurting me. And I couldn't stop it.

The tears continued as the panic attack painstakingly slowly came to an end. I stayed for a few minutes just rocking back and forth, crying. When I got up, I grabbed my phone, and dialed. Praying to anything that he wasn't busy. The phone rang and rang and rang.

Finally, the phone picked up. There was some shuffling and mumbles, before I heard, "hey Wren. Hold on." There were a few more seconds of shuffles and mumbles before he said, "hey."

"Maxie?" I questioned, the tears were still streaming. I tried not to let him notice that I was upset.

I guess it didn't work, "what's wrong?"

"Are you busy?" I asked. I sniffled before he could respond, which gave me away. He knew me too well.

"Wren, are you okay?" He asked, sounding genuinely concerned.

I broke down again in that moment, "no. Come over? Please?" I practically begged.

"Of course. I'm on my way." He told me. I thanked him before hanging up the phone. All I had to do was stay calm until he got there. That was easier said than done.

A couple minutes went by before the tears stopped, but I paced and paced. Twenty minutes passed until there was a knock at the front door. I ran downstairs and opened the door for Max. I immediately rushed to and wrapped my arms around him, leading me to once again break down.

It took a second or so for him to respond and wrap his arms around me. He started shushing me and trying to comfort me by telling me that everything was okay, but all I could do was cry and say "no, it's not." Once I started saying that, all I could do was keep repeating it.