It's beautiful outside
Why don't you go ?
Find your friends ?
Because i can't
I'm so alone
I feel so alone
I have no one to be with me for real
I don't want to talk
I just want to hold you
I don't want to see the other smile
But i don't want to see them cry
Cause i'm hurt
Either way
When i was young
I used to be selfish
Now i'm less
But i'm still weak
When i was young i wasn't really possessive
Now i'm overly possessive
I don't want to see you with other people
It's true i don't even know you
And we're not even close
But i don't want to see you close to them
Ok maybe i'm still selfish
Because i'm scared
Scared of losing you
Why i'm scared if i don't even know you ?
I don't know
I'm running out of time
I need someone
To hold me when i'm alone
When my nightmares chase me
Oh i remember my first kiss !
It was magical
I miss the feeling
I remember her face
Everyone was judging her
I didn't
Because i loved her
And then she left me
And i started to judge her with the other
How pitiful
How weak
I'm weak
I'm alone
Before my lit up screen
Imaginating stories
Of heroes
Who can save the other
Who can make people smile
But here i am
Sitting down
My hearts burn
An immortal inferno
That keep on swallowing me
The same plastic heart
The same empty soul
When i wrote ''Nise no tamashi''
I was the same empty shell
But i don't know
I feel different this time
I feel left off
Everyone is moving
I'm standing still
Everyone is smiling and having fun
I'm crying and writing this lines
Lines made of bloody ink
Lines forgotten by a numb mind
Every word i write is another i forget
Like a self destruction
I don't know
Why i feel like this
Why i keep on blaming everything
And never going forward
I miss you
It's true
I never met you
Maybe one time
I don't even know if you exist
Will you let me hold you
Before i can reach eternal slumber
Will you hear me out
Before i go crazy
In this darkened room
That contains all my nightmares
They're screaming at me
Never letting me go
YOU'RE ALONE !
YOU'RE WORTHLESS !
NOBODY LIKES YOU !
YOU ARE JUST PATHETIC !
YOU ARE WEAK !
All this words keep hitting me
When i sleep
In the shower
When the water is just
A geyser of pain
Flowing on me
Raining down on my soul
My hands are trembling
My body is shaking
I'm cold
I'm alone in the cold
I write for nothing
Just words that are there
To tell you that i'm not fine
But whatever
Nobody will read this
Nobody care for me
Nobody care for a broken mind
That keeps on crying
Never smiling
Why would they pick me up ?
If i'm useless ?
I am tired
I want to rest
But i can't sleep
With the demons waiting in the cold of the night
Drapping around me
Like a blanket of shadow
A neverending cycle
A neverending night
A neverending struggle
