Why would i ?
Why do i keep doing that ?
Why do i keep living this life ?
Lying about my achievement
I am no one I am juste me
That is what i should accept ?
Maybe
I just can't
Can't stop
Trying to be someone I am not
I am in love for real
I still see
Her face framed by glasses
Her name
Akin to chinese beauty
I can't tell her
I'm weak
I'm a coward
I fear every reaction
Every single look
Every single words
Every single movement
I don't know where i can shine
I'm made of hate toward my kin
I'm made of horrible feelings
Tearing me apart
My mind is lost
So i write
Ink on paper
Thoughts of nothing but pain
Edgy ? could be
Sad ? obviously
I regret every words every action
I drown myself in the lies i spit
My life is a lie
I keep denying who i am
Keep being jealous of everyone better than me
Smoke ? no
Drink ? no
I am just alone with a music ringing in my head
Like the tic toc of an infernal clock
Keeping me warm with hellfire
I keep disappointing people around me
I have friends but am i worth of their friendship
I have one friend that will always be there
It's funny
Because I don't know if i can be here for him
I don't know who i can save
I can't save myself
I know my weaknesses
But i try to hide them with beautiful paintings
Full of lies
Is life hard ?
Or am i trying to make it hard ?
Everyone that don't really know
For them
I'm a good boy
No drinks, no drugs, no smoke
But I'm worse
Manipulating people
Lying to them
Will somebody pick me up
Or will they give me what i deserve
Leaving me on the side
Alone with my nightmares
Am i really sad ?
Am i happy ?
Am i really depressed ?
And most importantly
Am i Lying ?
