A Daring Game of Secrets

Chapter 14

Aria is gone. I have completely lost her. Maybe I should be worried. Just to clarify, it’s not like I can’t find her. I know exactly where she is. The same place she always seems to be. With her darling sweetheart. Kevin. I can’t question it. I haven't exactly had much time for her either. My dare is too time consuming.

It feels horrible just to refer to it as my dare. It feels almost demeaning to Phoenix and Ryder. It’s like I'm using them. I am using them. I don't want to have a conscience any longer.

I had begun searching for Phoenix. He promised to meet me to watch the movie. We had yet to decide which film we would be sitting in on. They were starting after dinner so there was time.

I had ate alone. When my stomach was protesting nonstop I had to eat. When I couldn't find Phoenix I tried looking for Aria, Kevin and even Ryder. No one was anywhere. I was too hungry to wait so I went to dinner and ate alone. It was horrible. All I could do was think. It was slowly driving me mad.

The first of those I had been searching for made their appearance soon after. They weren't the one I had hoped most to see nor were they alone. Valentina walked down the stairs with Ryder’s arm draped around her shoulders. She smiled but she wasn't looking at him. Neither of them looked at the other. I think Valentina was relishing the attention. She was enjoying the feeling of having attention paid to her by Ryder and the jealous gazes sent their way from fellow students.

Ryder was the clear solution when it came to demanding attention. I wasn't angry, not really. I was however upset in a way. Not because Valentina was getting what she wanted, I don't care what she does. My emotion was due to Ryder. There were rumours involving the two over a year ago and given Valentina’s state before they clearly weren't just rumours but Ryder hadn't felt anything genuine towards her as far as I knew. I guess I was upset because I felt betrayed.

They walked straight past me. Ryder established eye contact with me and he could see how I felt as I conveyed it through my eyes. Ryder’s eyes were blank and empty. He didn't seem to care. He looked through me as he swept by with Valentina - like I didn't exist.

That only amplified the betrayal but even then I just rolled my eyes. As much as he hurt me, I couldn't care. Ryder and I aren't really friends at that point. Even if he gets to me I cannot allow it to look like he is even capable of doing so.

I saw Aria with Kevin but they were a bit too busy tickling one another’s tonsils to notice me. I don't know what to say about them. They're moving fast. Maybe too fast. Despite me being Arias best friend I wasn't able to tell her to rein it in. Never in her life had she been the type of person to date anything with a pulse. She was always more of the distant admirer. She had freely voiced her opinions ever since I met her. She may have hated Ryder but she all but hated his friends. It was guys that she saw all the time. Aria may have even enjoyed knowing that Ryder was there so it would never happen, the fun of a crush without the fear of rejection in her mind, but given Ryder’s new careless attitude regarding Kevin and his twin sister Aria was free to do what she wanted with Kevin.

But if I thought the emotion coursing through my veins upon seeing Ryder with Valentina was betrayal then words cannot do justice to the feeling I was struck with when I turned around. Phoenix. He had his back to me but I knew it was him. I recognized his dirty blonde hair and the shirt I had chosen for him that morning. A girls head was rested on his shoulder as they spoke and laughed, looking at the list of movies for the night.

He wasn't planning on going to the movie with me after all. I guess I didn't do much to convince him. I convinced myself we had something and I know I didn't label it on purpose so that he wouldn't think I was cheating on him when the time came to kiss Ryder. Technically he’s not cheating on me if we aren't together officially. I ran upstairs before he could see me. I didn't cry or speak. I didn't do anything. When I reached my bed I sat there. It was the spot where Phoenix and I had kissed that day. Still my tears never fell, I just sat there.

An hour later there was a knock at the door. I didn't answer. There was another knock half an hour later. Again, I didn't answer, not even when I heard Phoenix asking if I was in my room. There was another an hour after that. Once again it was Phoenix and once again I didn't answer. A small scrap of paper slid under the door. I stood and picked it up reading the words sprawled across it.

'Terra, we need to talk. Soon. Come find me because I'm clearly no good at finding you. Phoenix.' That was all it said. I didn't go after him. Merely, returned to my spot on my bed.

A few hours later Aria came back and I was still awake and just sitting there. That seemed to be all I had done for that entire evening. I just sat there.

"Hey, you missed the movie." I nodded. Aria sighed stepping closer. "Phoenix is looking for you. Ryder’s pretty worried too." Aria sat on my bed.

I nodded again. "I know." I replied in a small voice.

"Do you want to talk about it?" I shook my head, closing my eyes. Even thinking about talking about it made it feel worse. I don't know why anymore. Probably because it’s all my fault. Aria wrapped her arm around me and did what I was doing. Just sitting there. But now I wasn't sitting there alone, and I needed that. Not from Phoenix or Ryder. I was with my best friend and I needed her. It was good knowing that I wasn't alone, that not everything had changed, that we were still the same to friends that walking in there two days ago, even just for now.

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Unedited and not the best quality. Oops?