State of Soul

Ode of the Butterflies

Some may think I have an obsession with butterflies. I can see where they gather that assumption about me. I mean, just look at my collection. My room is practically adorned by all things butterfly; butterfly shelves, butterfly paintings, butterfly photos, butterfly snow globes, butterfly knickknacks, butterfly beanie babies, butterfly runners, butterfly beaded curtains, and even a butterfly tattoo that remains cozy on my shoulder. All butterflies, all equally as beautiful as the last, but of all my collection, my favorite is the pinned specimen in a circular case.

It belonged to my great-grandmother. It used to rest soundly in the window between her kitchen and dining room, forever frozen with its wings extended as if it were to take flight at any moment. There were many times as a child where I admired its exotic beauty as I had never seen anything like it. In these lands is where the great monarch and swallowtails and painted ladies flutter freely, but I have never seen one quite like this.

I'm no expert on butterflies. I'd say my researching them is more of a newfound hobby that I am still exploring, but in this novel passion, I think I may have stumbled across its name. If my research proves correct, this beauty is a morpho amathonte, which is a neotropical species. That would explain why I've never seen anything like it before. Where I live is nowhere near where these species dwell and thrive. Still, I am not certain if my assumption is correct. I am merely one girl who is simply intrigued by these creatures.

There's a place here known as the Krohn Conservatory where there is a butterfly show that locals can visit every spring. I went to it once as a child and was left in awe at all the butterflies. Most I had never even seen before as it offers a vast collection of many different species -including species from near and far. It was just breathtaking. And not long ago I went again with my grandmother, sister, and cousin. Once again, I was reminded of the beauty and awe that surrounded me. Each happily fluttered around, occasionally landing on a finger or shoulder. In a sense, it made me think of an overwhelming happiness.

I suppose that is because I was surrounded by happiness. Whenever I see a butterfly cheerfully making its way to wherever it is it's going, I can't help but smile. Smile and admire it. Which is what I often do. Just stand and stare, smiling like an idiot. But that doesn't bother me. In the same way, birdwatchers find enjoyment in watching the birds sing and chirp, I find my enjoyment in the fluttery dance of the butterflies.

But where was I going with this?

Ah, yes. The morpho amathonte that belonged to my great-grandmother. That part of my collection is near and dear to me. Not only is it a species that I will never see in my native land, but it belonged to her. It was hers. It was one that she somehow ended up with. And now its mine. It's not in perfect condition. Its old. Only God knows how long she owned it before I ended up with it. But it's still my favorite. Because it was hers.

I miss my GG. I miss her very much. She was the center of my family for nearly half my life. She was the rock and foundation which my family was constructed. Now the pillar which is my grandmother is where we gather. She is now the center, standing where her mother once did. And one day, though I do not rush it, she will pass, and the pillar will divide. My cousins centered around their parents while my siblings and I gather around my mother. And one day, my siblings and I will become the pillars which will be surrounded by our own families. That is what will happen.

So, I hope the butterfly continues to follow me. I hope that whenever a monarch or swallowtail or painted lady lands on me that it's a kiss from my GG. That is what I hope for.

I love you and I miss you, GG. I hope you're laughing it up in heaven.

© 2019 K.N. Herzner