Misstaken ✓ | #Wattys2019

25. d e a d o r a l i v e

Two weeks had passed since the attack.

Everyone was a blur. All I know was that all my prayers never came true.

He was gone. Just like that.

I was a sheet of white in my mourning dress. Today was the day of his funeral, the day to say goodbye.

I promised him I wouldn't cry today. I told him I was going to be a good girl, because I knew he wouldn't have wanted to see me sad from up there. But the thought that I didn't get to say a proper goodbye also made me break down today.

I didn't even get to tell him that I loved him. It was a revelation at such a heated moment, but I knew I meant every ounce of it. From the day I was a stubborn girl who stood in his way, I had slowly fallen for everything good and bad about him.

I loved him.

But what's the point, now that he's gone?

"Emma?" I could hear Cleo's voice as she rushed upstairs, no doubt telling me with need to leave. We were awfully late, but I was just dreading this moment so much.

I tucked a marigold and a butterfly pea flower in my hair. Unconventional, I know. But I knew how much he loved getting his fingers lost in my hair, and the colors of those two flowers really reminded me of his eyes —

"Emma? Emma!"

I jolted awake, frantic for a moment. The memories of everything came rushing in, and I placed both hands on the shoulders of Cleo. I saw the feverish look in my eyes from the reflection in her irises.

"Wh—what? Is he — is he gone?"

"No, Emma." She assured me. "He's still breathing, alright. Look, I didn't want to wake you because it was your first sleep in three days, even after the calming pill I gave you. But the doctor just told us something major."

My heart fell to my stomach. What was it this time? Was he going to say that Nick was brain-dead, or in a coma, or just dead?

But a relieved look broke out across Cleo's face. "It's a miracle, Em. Something about how the Scarlet Plague he had when he was young made him stronger. After surviving it, his blood had the ability to clot and heal better, and even though he was shot in the heart, he's going to make it."

I felt energy coursing through my veins again. Suddenly I was alive. This was so good. I wasn't in a dream again, was I?

"The operation took a really long time because of the fatality of the shot. But somehow his body could repair itself, and he might even be awake today. I think you should go and see him as soon as it's visiting hours. He'd want your face to be the first one he sees when he wakes up."

Cleo didn't have to tell me twice. I moved towards the door, each step filled with excited anticipation instead of that horrendous dread.

I was going to see him again. That was it. I got another chance. Another chance at telling him that I forgave him, and telling him how much he meant to me. He had always said he felt things with me that he never felt with anyone else. It was the same for me, he was the only person who could summon such strong emotions from me.

Nicole Sheldon was standing at the door too. These few days we had shared so much grief and sorrow. Probably more so for her than for me, there was one more person she had lost already. This was the punishment, it seemed. I wouldn't forget what she did, but I forgave her. I was relieved I did. It was immensely helpful to have her around, drying each others' tears in the wee hours of the morning, hugging me when I needed a shoulder to cry on, and praying with me for Nick's recovery.