Misstaken ✓ | #Wattys2019

7. a c h a n g e

Because it felt like my personal mission, I wound up going to Hestia, to Nick's ward again.

I really didn't understand myself. I was trying to avoid seeing him and potentially getting exposed, but at the same time I couldn't seem to stay away.

The door was slightly ajar. I walked on cautiously, and when I saw who was inside, all I could do was gape.

Inside the room stood the real Zara Abigail.

She was aware of my presence without needing to turn around. Before I could sneak back out of the door, she told me, "Let's talk outside." She pulled me outside rather harshly.

It felt as though I did something wrong, making me stammer. "I—I can explain."

She actually gave an empathetic smile. "There's no need. I already heard the story."

"Then you must understand what kind of predicament I am in. Maybe you could tell me how to act like you do." I laughed awkwardly.

Zara raised an eyebrow. "That's the thing. I don't think I want you to succeed." She glanced momentarily at the door, left slightly ajar again.

"But I —"

"It's nothing against you." She added quickly. "I just — I think Nick's pain is well-deserved."

I gaped. He has done enough to deserve... that? "Did he — did he cheat on you?" I wondered aloud.

Zara laughed at that. She shook her head in a knowing manner. "There's so much... worse than that."

She stepped forward and placed a hand on my shoulder, whispering next to my ear. "I don't think we have any reason to meet again, Emma. And be careful, okay?"

Right before she left, she locked eyes with me like a premonition. "Just don't fall in love with him and you'll be fine."

With that, Zara was gone. That left me in a puddle of confusion.

"Wait —" I said aloud, even though she was gone already. What did that mean?

How am I supposed to act as Zara if I don't know what wrongdoing Nick has did?

And what did she mean by the last sentence?

***

I was back to standing over Nick's bed. It was the same position the real Zara was in earlier.

Nicholas was sound asleep, even though it was almost noon.

"Do you want me to get lunch for you, ma'am?" One of his guards asked politely.

"I'm good." I replied, reading the name of his name tag. "Ansel, do you think you can do me a favor? Do you have access to Nick's medical reports?"

He raised an eyebrow. "That's confidential information, ma'am."

"Right. Forget I asked—"

"Actually, I can do it for you." Hunter sauntered in, already carrying a file I assumed containing Nicholas' medical reports.

If he had the file... he knew Nick was sick. Nick thought his best friend hadn't known yet.

In my head, I wondered what else he knew that he pretended he didn't. I wondered if he knew that I wasn't the real Zara.

I took it hesitantly. I opened up and read the scan. "The fusiform gyrus." I identified, "His occipito-temporal lobe was damaged from the fall."

Hunter looked like he was too shaken from finding out about Nick's condition to even hear me. He must have only discovered it recently.

Hunter sat down, gripping the end of the couch. "I came at 3am once I heard. You know what? Nick looked into the mirror and screamed. He couldn't recognize 'the stranger in the mirror.'"

What could I say? The face seems to function as an important identifying feature in memory, it can also be difficult for people with this condition to keep track of information about people, and socialize normally with others. I had read that much about prosopagnosia in medical school.

"He can learn how to cope by using piecemeal or feature-by-feature strategies."

Hunter wasn't listening. "I've been his brother for practically my whole life, and now he can't even recognize me. And he couldn't even tell me he was sick."

Great, now I have two people to comfort. I stepped forward to Hunter, coaxing gently. "It's not about you. It's just not easy to talk about something like that. Even to a brother. I think Nick wouldn't even want to admit it to himself."

I expected gratefulness. Instead, Hunter's look was unreadable. "If you're the real Zara Abigail, then I admire your kindness. I hope you stay by my brother's side."

If you're the real Zara. Something about that sentence sounded weird,  like he already knew...

The look pretty much confirmed it. I was almost certain that Hunter had found out about my secret.

On that note, he stood up to leave. Once he was out of the door, I woke up enough to want to run after him and question him more.

But before I could move a step, Nicholas reached out a hand and grabbed mine. "Don't go."

I gasped. How long had he been awake? I stared down at the boy, who still had his eyes closed. Prima facie, he seemed to be at peace. I could have sworn his breathing was even only moments ago.

His thumb ran against my arm gently. The hand slid down to grasp the fingers lightly.

Something about that touch tugged at my heartstrings. To brush it off, I replied hastily, "Let me go, Nicholas."

I tried letting go, but his grip was like iron. How could he be both gentle to the touch, but unmoving and strong like steel?

I gave up and crouched next to the bed. Nick didn't say anything for a while.

"So, you know medical terms now?" He spoke lightly. His voice was melodic, almost unnerving in its own way.

"You're dreaming, Nick."

His eyebrows knit together for a second. "Am I?" He suddenly opened his eyes and sat upright.

There was knowing in his eyes when he looked at me. It was like he was seeing the dark all around, and I was the only source of light. He could recognize me.

With that, Nick leaned down so he was inches away from my face. It was hard not to twitch, not to pull away.

His eyes bore into mine. They were inches away. I wanted to pull away because of the intensity of his gaze, but a part of me also wanted to stay.

His arms cupped the sides of my shoulders. He rose lightly, just as his lips parted. When Nick was this close, it was even easier to see how angelic he looked. It was truly surreal.

His voice was a low, husky whisper.

"If this is a dream, would it be okay to do this?"