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forty four | maybe

He smiles and climbs onto the bed, sitting beside me with his back against the headboard. "Of course. You're my friend."

"Damn, putting me in the friend-zone, huh?" I tease.

He scoffs. "I'd fuck you right now if you wanted me to, and you know it."

My jaw drops. "Uh..."

He chuckles at my reaction. "You didn't answer my question."

"What?"

"Are you okay? I heard you shouting in your sleep..."

"Oh, I'm fine."

Elijah moves closer and rubs his thumb over my cheek, smearing some of my tears. "Really? You could have fooled me."

I close my eyes and lean closer to him, and he wraps his arms around me.

I can't explain everything to him.

How do I tell him that I have forgotten how to be human? How would I tell him that I'm a killer, and I'm supposed to kill him too?

I can't explain how everything haunts me, and the worst part is, I deserve all the pain I get. I deserve all of it. I can't explain how not being able to talk to anyone about this makes it so much worse..

"I ruined everything. I wish I could go back to being an innocent kid," I say.

"At least one thing is still the same," he says.

"What?"

"We've still got each other." He places a kiss on my temple. "You're going to be okay, Bree. I've got you."

He intertwines his hand with mine. I sigh. "It feels like everything is wrong and I've screwed my life up so bad that I can't go back."

"You're getting your degree, you've got a good apartment and a car. You're moving forward, which is the most important thing. Everything will fall into place," he assures me.

"Whenever I try to imagine my future, it's just dark. It's blank, like I've got nothing left."

I stare down at our connected hands. "Sometimes I get scared, too," he admits. "But there's so much to look forward to. You'll get your degree, you'll travel the world, you'll get a job and fall in love. Everything will work out." He turns my head, so I'm looking up into his hopeful eyes. "It's scary, especially falling in love, but it's so worth it."

"Elijah, I am not the girl you fell in love with..."

"Are you still terrified of bunnies?" he asks.

"Come on, they're like fluffy devil spawn. Have you ever seen a hairless bunny? It's terrifying," I defend myself.

"Is your favorite food still 'all food'?" I chuckle and nod. "Do you still want to travel the world?" he questions. I nod. "Do you still fangirl over Dylan O'Brien?" I nod. "Do you still hate when people scratch their buttcheeks?"

I cringe. "Doesn't everyone?"

"Do you still get turned on when guys moan or kiss your neck?"

"N-No..."

He smirks and dips his head down, placing his lips against my neck. I suck in a breath and bite my lip. Damn it. I keep my gaze lowered and don't respond.

"You sure about that?" he teases.

I close my eyes. "I'm sure..." I'm sure that the way your lips feel against my skin is intoxicating.

"Intoxicating, huh?"

"What?"

"You just said the way I kiss you is intoxicating..."

"No, I didn't."

"You just did—"

"No, I didn't." Shit.

"It's okay, Bree. Your lips are like drugs to me."

"No, I-I didn't mean... I, uh, I wasn't..." I try to form a sentence, but my brain is refusing to do so.

He chuckles, clearly enjoying my discomfort. "My point is, you are still the girl I fell in love with. Sure, some parts of you have changed, but nobody stays the same forever."

Maybe he's right. Maybe I am still the girl I used to be. Maybe I could be a better person. If I try to do the right thing, and stop Antonio from controlling me, then maybe I could be better.

I'm not saying I can make up for what I've done, but I can try to right my wrongs instead of continuing to do wrong.

•<•>•

Heyooo!! I'm not going to lie, I got distracted writing my other books and I forgot about this one heh. The middle child of books, I guess. Oops.

How are you guys?

T w i t t e r : xPineappleGirlx
I n s t a g r a m : laylaawrites
Y o u t u b e : xThePineappleGirlx

Lots of love and jelly tots - xThePineappleGirlx