Poems of a lighthearted nature

A twisted (Fairy)Tale

Hansel? said Gretel, Please put on the kettle

A witch is coming to stay

Get the biscuits out, quick!

To make her so full she's sick

is our primary aim of today.

We'll have gingerbread men, as a welcome, and then

We'll feed her until she's in pain

I'll force on her, cake

that I've just freshly baked

then I'll litter breadcrumbs down the lane

And the vultures will come! To gobble every crumb!

When we'll catch them at once to keep

Then we'll drug her hot pie

and we'll bid her goodnight

and wait for her to fall asleep.

As she lies in her slumber, you'll collect us some lumber

to pile upon the fire

Then we'll carry her down

and invite the whole town

to watch her grow crisp on the pyre.

Riding Hood will say 'Good!' when the tower of wood

sets fire to moany Snow White

'cause she's become a pain

her dwarves drive us insane

so we'll kill her off just out of spite.

When the flames have subdued, we'll sort out the feud

that erupts over who gets dibs

on the witch's fried guts

and the finest meat cuts

Would you care for sublime witch's ribs?

At AM, hour third, I'll release the birds

and let them attack all our guests

then I'll serve them with rice

because burnt witch is nice

but slowly cooked neighbours are best.