Can't open up my lips

The Move

May 13, Year 8.

“parang kang pirated dvd…”

“paulit-ulit.”

“ulit…”

Ganito ang buhay ko ngayong bakasyon - a replay of yesterday but with few changes. The routine si to wake, eat, stay in indoors, eat, sleep, and then repeat.

Kabisado ko na sina mama, at feeling ko lilipat kami ulit ng bahay. Bahay na mas malapit sa school, near the main road. I hate moving, yung buong concept and everything. Feeling ko npa kami o di kaya someone is chasing us– kulang na lang magbago din kami ng identity.

But at one point, i wish i did. I wish i can change my identity and could start back at the beginning. Parang action movie where i had to change my identity, my hair color, the way i look, dress, and walked – everything and i found myself wishing for a way to redo my regrets.

I wanted to talk to anna pero feeling ko today’s not a good time to talk to her. I grew accustomed to the wall i built that at some point feeling ko were slowly drifting after, slowly becoming strangers.

At least kung lumipat man kami ng bahay, magiging mas malapit na ako sa kanya...