Orders and Wonders - Connor/Kara Fanfiction

Redemption

Hours sped by like seconds. Thunderstorms passed and daylight broke from behind the ship containers when Connor decided that it was time. His heart ached with grief, unlike anything he had experienced before. Goodbyes always took those he loved away from him. Kara. Alice. Hank. 

Her hand was growing cold again in his palm and he was instantly switching off her thermostat. Who would do this for her when he was gone? The loss of her memories had taken away practically everything, including her android instincts. She didn't even understand the world around her; the conflict that loomed closer than ever, the everpresent presence of death that surrounded them. She saw it but did not understand. 

Lucy's presence was known to him before she had even made herself known. He admired the woman for her constant reflections and kindness. She had sheltered Alice when neither Kara nor he was in the position to. Yet, her presence could only bring so much comfort - Alice desperately needed Kara. And to a greater extent, so did he. 

"Markus would like to see you before you part from us." She stated, somewhat less serenely and he caught the worried glance in her orbless gaze. It was not directed at him but rather towards the sleeping android who leaned against him. 

"What worries you?" He asked, an aggressiveness unknown to him prevailing his usually respectful tone. He needed to know everything. Every small detail pertaining to Kara's wellbeing was vital to his future decisions. 

When she did not respond, he beseeched, uncaring that he was begging. "Please. I need to know." A memory of a few days ago came to mind when he, despite being an android demanded an air of respect. He remembered the sheer embarrassment that had emerged in his being when Hank would insult him in front of the precinct. A few days ago . . . how he had changed. 

Lucy stroked the female android's unkempt hair with a melancholic touch. "She could not endure your leaving once before. Do you think she is strong enough to bear it again?"

Eyelids shuttered his wet brown eyes from the oracle who saw it all. He could not forget that day. One wrong decision, one moment of heedlessness and the future he had begun to share with Kara and Alice had been ripped apart from him. He hated remembering it, but it became unmanageable when someone else would remind him of it. 

"I . . . I believe in her. She - has accepted it." 

Empty metallic eyes stared at him before they looked off in the distance. "The future remains uncertain. Both for us androids and those who wish to exterminate us. But one thing is certain." 

She lifted her hand from Kara's head and offered him her hand. When he reluctantly placed it in her palm, she saw the turmoil the ravaged his insides. And finally, she saw the horrific remains of the interface that had deeply changed him. 

She stumbled on her next words but knew that they had to be said. "One thing is certain that if you leave again, she will be taken from you again." 

He wrenched his arm away from her so hard that Kara jerked awake at the harsh movement of his arm under her head. Disorientated, she looked around as she always did before her eyes settled on a distressed damaged android and her friend. Unlike the woman, he was surprisingly serene despite his wracked breaths. 

But before she could urge him to explain to her what was wrong, he was already clutching her face in his palms. 

"It doesn't matter." Kara watched as he took a large gulp of air as if his next words were being set in stone. "It doesn't matter because I will not give up. I will try again and again. Because I always accomplish my mission. It is what I am programmed to do." 

"How would you know?" She had asked suspiciously, her fingers twitching gently. When the human had nearly attacked her, she did not expect Connor to jump in front of her. Her heart had stopped dead in fear for his safety, but he had easily dodged all of the attacks with such elegance and ingeniousness that for the first time she felt safe. And now when they stood side by side, their fingers intertwined like before she longed to hold on to that safety a little more. Then he was turning to meet her eyes, his face ever so close to her own - she had a sudden vision of soft lips touching her own, her thirium rippling under her synthetic skin like a chaotic wave in the ocean. Nothing had ever made her feel that way - nothing had made her feel so confused. She craved for it once more, but at the same time couldn't give a name to the feeling.