Crave | k.th.

4.

I shifted a bit as I felt her move away from me. The absence of her is always frightening for I fear when she leaves it could be the last.

I shouldn't think this but it's my own guilt. My eyes opened as I heard the door closed and my phone rung in the same time.

It was Jimin. He was checking on me to see if I was still being a coward. Jimin is...mmm the most supportive of this and he is right. I should do it. I should do it now.

I got out of bed and walked to the door, my ear close to it listening in case she was busy. I didn't want to interrupt her. The sound of running water caught my attention. Maybe she was preparing for a bath.

I knocked and heard the water shut off quickly. "Shae?" I called.

She opened the door before I could even take another breath.

"Taehyung?" Her sweet voice called back.

Now my breath is taken away.

I blinked slowly, replaying the way she said my name. I want to hear it that way always.

She looked a little timid as I reached out to touch her. Something seemed to worry her. "Are you okay?"

"Yes. I was just about to take a bath. Want to join?"

Hearing her asked me this gave me a tingly feeling. She wanted something from me. She wanted me to join her in a bath. I wasn't going to hesitate.

"Of course." I didn't want to waste time in case she may change her mind so I walked in fast and took off my underwear.

"Mmm." The water felt so good as I leaned back but something was missing. I looked over at Shae who watched me. She seemed surprised at me.

"Coming?"

She blushed and I made her do that. I like being the reason for her smile. I could not take my eyes off her as she removed her clothes. Her body was beautiful. Every curve and line made her perfect to me. The moment she stepped inside I pulled her to me. I needed her close.

She shivered as I held her close. Was she afraid or nervous?

"Relax." I spoke to her lowly hoping to soothe her.

My hand brushed against the softness of her skin and my mind wandered back to moment before we were like this. I missed her touch and I needed it again.

She seemed less tense and I could feel her warm body against mine.

"Better?" I asked.

"Y-Yeah..." she answered.

I grinned as I wrapped my arms around her. Her scent is hypnotizing to me but I felt her tense up again as she got goosebumps.

"Cold?" I asked although I can't be sure if that is possible. So much warmth surrounded us.

"Not really. I..."

Hmm...I pulled her closer to me and grinned again. "Nervous?" My voice lowered for her comfort. I want her to feel relaxed in my arms as I am relaxed having her next to me.

"I'm not nervous." She whispered. I wasn't sure how honest she was. I don't want her to be afraid of me. If anything, I am afraid of her. Afraid of losing her mostly.

I need to tell her but how? I care so much for her and I know I will hurt her with my secret.

Jin hyung would be perfect to help. He could say "Do you know BTS?" It would be funny but honest.

I don't like this hiding. It's pathetic of me and I should be stronger than this but I'm not. At least I still have another day to try.

Her body rose and fell from a silent breath and I realized we've been quiet for a while. I should speak or something.

"My time...Mmm...I have more time with you now."

She has to be wondering when will I be leaving. My visits to her are never this long. She has to wonder.

She didn't respond and sometimes her silence worries me. I need to see her. I want to see what she's feeling. Maybe if I talked to her a little more, could it help? Could it break me from my scared ways and tell her? But what would I say?

"Shae?"

"Yes?"

"Face me please." I was the one who was nervous now.

The butterflies returned the minute I looked into her eyes and I wanted to them to stay longer as always.

She is so beautiful. Why is she with me? Why does she waste her time with me? She hardly knows me. I'm a stranger to her and she tends to me selflessly.

I deserve none of this.

Her eyes started to glisten and it hit me hard to see that. I'm hurting her. I've hurt her and I will always do so as long as I am lying to her. I can't keep this up.

Don't be a coward Taehyung. Say something. "Tell me please about your week. I'm curious."

In my thoughts, I smacked my forehead but then I noticed a change in her expression. She seemed surprised and I know why. I never ask this of her but this will change.

From now on I want to know more about her if I want a relationship with her.

I want us to grow.

Still enjoying this? +++🌹💋clw