Is This Crack? (Naruto CRACK Fanfic)

17. The Jinchuuriki Swap! (Naruto & Gaara)

Gaara's expression stiffened for a second. He knew that he could never turn Naruto down, he had a soft spot for the blond Jinchuuriki, being his first friend and all, and Naruto knew this.

Naruto Uzumaki-Namikaze was standing close to Gaara, towering over him by a couple of centimetres. There was absolute silence until Gaara shivered and pushed him away.

"You stupid blond," He frowned, cursing himself for being so weak against physical contact and friendship. "Fine, I'll do it."

Shukaku groaned, "You two foxes are going to be the death of us!" Gaara nodded sadly. "I hate this, and I hate you, and I hope you die."

Naruto grinned and picked the grumpy tanuki up, who yelped and tried to jump away. "Don't be like that Shu! Today is gonna be so much fun, believe it!"

"What the fuck am I gonna believe, huh? Get off me- No! Don't pet me!" He pawed away Naruto's hands, eye twitching in irritation at the blond, "Believe it, believe it... Screw that, what a dumb catch phrase!"

"It's not a catch phrase! It's a motto!" Naruto retorted.

Shukaku grimaced, "What's a motto?"

Naruto winked and snapped his fingers together, remembering that old movie about lions. Ah, what a great movie. So blurry, so... not HD. "Nothin'! What's a motto with you!"

"I hate you. I hate you. I hate you-"

Kurama sighed and shrugged, hopping onto Gaara and climbing up his back, to his shoulder. Gaara didn't really ever have Shukaku on his shoulder, so it was a weird feeling, kind of like a shiver crawling up your spine, as if your body knows that something is gonna go wrong. He always had good intuition.

"Well, Gaara, your red hair makes my fur stand out more, and I like being the centre of attention so I think that's great!" Kurama approved and pointed towards the road. "Onwards!"

Gaara stood quietly with a confused expression, Shukaku was still trying to wrestle with Naruto, clearly not knowing how to deal with his personality. Were they going to split up? Walk together? He didn't really trust Kurama enough to be with him alone, the fox was just too damn sly and cunning.

"Just sit on my shoulder Shu, and let's go!" Naruto put his hand on his hip, Shukaku growled but decided that the energy he was exerting just wasn't worth it. He hopped up to Naruto's shoulder.

"You haven't won this yet, damn brat."

Naruto put a hand on his heart and faked a happy sigh, "You sound just like Kurama." He wiped a fake tear, "Honey, I'm home."

Shukaku bristled, his body was rough and looked like it was sandy, but somehow, Naruto pet his head and it was actually kind of soft. How did that make sense? Who knows. Tailed Beasts don't really make sense, or even obey the laws of science.

Once Naruto and Shukaku bid farewell to Gaara and Kurama, they walked away, bickering. Gaara stood quietly and then put his face in his hands in defeat.

"What did I get myself into...?"

Kurama just cackled.

"I want you to prank someone." Kurama stated randomly, in the middle of a normal conversation about the pros and cons of tin foil, and whether it can boost psychic energy in order to become like a Yamanaka.

Gaara exhaled, "I will not do that."

"Come on!" Kurama wrapped one of his tails around Gaara's neck and then let himself drop off the shoulder, so he dangled upside down like a child having a tantrum. "It'll be sooo much fun, don't be a pussy."

"I'm not a pussy." Gaara grunted. "I'll get in trouble."

Laughing, Kurama slapped Gaara's face lightly, "In trouble? With who? Naruto? You know he won't care, in fact he'd love you to do it. It's Uzushio anyway, everyone knows who you are, and you're a Kage." He smirked, "Don't. Be. A. Pussy."

Gaara swat Kurama's paws away in annoyance, "I told you, I'm not a pussy."

Kurama leaned forward to Gaara's ear and hammered the final nail. People in authority positions couldn't help but sometimes be egotistical, and they would NEVER allow someone to dismiss or insult them.

So with a smirk, Kurama said it.

Two simple words.

"Prove it."

So he did. Two hours later, Gaara, the Fourth Kazekage, stood with a small egg in one hand, and a big paintbrush with pink paint dripping from it in the other.

He was standing outside the Uchiha mansion, Itachi laughing and rolling on the ground next to him, obsensely out of character, and Sasuke staring slack jawed inside his room.

"WHAT THE ACTUAL DUCKING FUCK?!"

Gaara shook his head sadly, "Autocorrect in real life is a shame."

Itachi gasped for air as he lay on the ground. "I can't breathe-"

"I MEANT FUCKING DUCK. I MEAN- FUCK WHY ARE THERE DUCKS?!"

"Jesus Christ, Kami-sama, Buddha- I can't breathe oh my god help-" Itachi gasped for air again, "This is incredible-gahh."

So what Gaara did was simple; he wasn't an expert prankster, but he did know that Sasuke Uchiha hated pink, and the back of his head looked like a ducks butt. So he bought one hundred ducks and put them all in his room, with shit and feathers everywhere, and painted the rest of the room pink.

Those fumes definitely were not good for the ducks, and the moment that Sasuke opened the door, they went ballistic and initiated a stampede.

"SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT I CAN'T KILL THEM WITH A FIREBALL JUTSU! MORALLY I CAN'T ABUSE ANIMALS-!"

Kurama shook his head sadly, "What a shame, such a young soul. RIP Sasuke Uchiha. May you rest in pieces."

Naruto heard the commotion from the other side of the village, so he ran as fast as he could and heard Sasuke's screeching. There was a crowd outside of the Uchiha mansion by the time he arrived, and Shukaku was barely holding on to his shoulder.

Whistling, Naruto grinned, "I'm impressed Gaara." The Kazekage shyly bowed his head as Naruto ruffled his hair, "You have potential, you should come over more often."

Gaara smiled slightly, "Thank you."

There was some silence as Gaara and Naruto smiled at each other, but it was quickly broken.

"SO MUCH FUCKING PINK MY EYES ARE BURNING-"

Naruto shrugged, "That's what therapy is for, I guess."

______________________

Hope you all enjoyed that slightly different IS THIS CRACK chapter.

Aside from asking the Naruto characters questions, you can also request a chapter plot! And if I really get some inspiration for it, I'll do it! Just PM me.

Don't forget to VOTE and COMMENT what you want to see next!

Thanks guys, see ya next time,

~ Wolfie