Losing My World. (Earning My Wings Sequel.)

Chapter Five.

"You're okay. It's okay," he whispered, pulling me closer. I had my face smashed in his neck, crying. He didn't understand. It wouldn't be okay.

I heard a faint knock on his door, but I stayed where I was, gripping onto Dean's shirt in tight fists. I heard the door click open as a voice filled the room.

"Dean? Are you- oh," it was Sam, "I was just saying that I was home and Jess should be here in a few minutes," he finished. I felt Dean nod at him before the door closed again.

"I love you, Castiel," he whispered. I shifted so that I was looking at him before I pressed my lips to his. I was still crying, but I didn't care. He's seen me at my worst and this isn't even close to that.

He rolled over so that he was hovering over me as he kissed me. I missed the warmth, but at least he was still here. I kissed him with so much need and want. I didn't want to lose him. Not again.

He broke away, pressing light kisses along my jaw, toward my ear. He lightly bit my earlobe, sucking on it for a second before moving back down. He pulled away to look at me. He wiped away the stray tears, smiling down at me softly.

"Dean," I said, making his face go into a look of confusion.

"Hmm?" He hummed, pushing my hair back out of my face. I took a deep breath, more tears threatening to fall.

"I love you. I want you back, Dean. I want you to be mine forever, but I just. I don't know if I could take that. I know you really like Anna and that will probably progress and I don't want to go through that again," I told him.

"Cas-" I held up my finger to his mouth, stopping him.

"You don't understand how tempting you are. If you asked me to be yours, I guarantee that I would say yes without a doubt. Then I would start thinking about it after a while and I don't know if I'd be able to cope," I continued, "Goddammit, Dean, I hate you so much for everything you've done to me. I hate you. I hate you. I hate you," I kept repeating it, closing my eyes tightly.

"I'm so sorry," he whispered, pressing his lips to mine again. I opened my eyes, catching his green ones as he pulled away. "Don't cry, Cas. Its okay," he told me, obviously seeing the tears brimming my eyes.

I brought my arms up to wrap around his body, making him fall on top of me. I didn't care though. I just wanted to hug him. I didn't want him to let me go ever again even though I knew he would.

We didn't say anything else. We only laid there, embraced in each other's arms. I was on the verge of falling asleep and I think Dean was too because he shifted, rolling off of me to get more comfortable before embracing me again.

That was until Adrian opened the door, that is.

"Uncie Dean! Uncle Cas!" He yelled, running toward the bed. I held onto Dean tighter, knowing he would be letting go soon.

"Adrian, come on! Dean is probably sle- oh. Adrian, go find daddy, okay?" Jessica's voice filled the room. I knew she was going to ask questions.

"Okay, mommy!" Adrian said, stomping out as he ran. The door clicked and I knew that she was still in here.

"Hi, Jess," Dean said, shifting his head slightly. His grip loosened slightly on my waist and I shifted closer to him.

"Don't let me go," I whispered, barely audible. He tightened his grip again, making me smile slightly to myself.

"Is Cas awake?" I heard her ask. I shifted, glancing back at her. "Have you been crying?" She asked.

I stayed quiet. I looked away from her, looking back at Dean, who was already looking at me.

"What did you do, Dean?" She asked, getting aggravated.

"He didn't do anything," I found myself saying. "I just miss him a lot and I don't want him to let me go again," I finished. The room was silent and his grip on me both tightened and loosened somehow. I was scared.

"Don't hurt him again, Dean. He's like a brother to me and I will fuck you up," Jessica said in a warning tone. Dean didn't say anything. He didn't nod or anything. I took that as a warning to make sure I don't get too deep into this.

The door opened and closed again and I looked up at Dean who was looking down at me. I leaned up a bit, connecting our lips in a soft kiss. I moved my hands to his face as his slowly rubbed up and down my back.

I pulled away, nuzzling my face into his neck, closing my eyes. I shifted a bit to get comfortable before waiting until sleep condensed me.

I wish we could stay like this forever.

A/N: Hey, guys.

How is everyone? I hope you all are doing good.

This chapter kinda sucks, honestly. Sorry. Its more of a filled, I guess?

Is there anyone named Colton who reads this? I wanna be friends with you so I can call you Coltonamo. (:

-Ali.xo