Lovers

Ch 5: bitches broken hearts

"You can pretend you don't miss me (me). You can pretend you don't care. All you wanna do is kiss me (me). Oh what a shame I'm not there. You can pretend you don't miss me (me). You can pretend you don't care. All you wanna do is kiss me (me). Oh what a shame I'm not there. What is it you want? You can lie but I know that you're not fine (oh yeah). Every time you talk. You talk 'bout me but you swear I'm not on your mind."

bitches broken hearts- Billie Eilish

Dawn P.O.V.

"We changed. You can't deny that, and you didn't even fight me on it like you usually do when I have doubts. Then I left, and you... you didn't try." I confess.

"A small drunk part of myself thought you could be right. I couldn't dismiss your thoughts either. We were different. I still loved you, but it's like I forgot how to love you properly. And then the drinking didn't help, but as you said then.. it magnified how disconnected we were."

The more the words spew from both of us, the more we realize that we are both right. We grew apart, and there was nothing that could change that. I still love Jake, more than ever, but he's not the same man that I loved. He has the same face, sure. But he's not the asshole who pushes my boundaries for the better, who makes me feel like a better person because of it.

"So I guess this closure, huh?" I sigh out.

"Yeah." He drums his fingers on the table, "I guess it is."

"Do you think we can be friends. I know it's a lot to ask from you, I mean, we were in love—"

"I just want to be around you again." He admits, but we both know it's impossible.

"You said JC's coming back in a month."

"More or less. I'm going to college to San Jose community."

"Wow, that's close." My fingertip traces the brim of my empty coffee mug, "What about the Underground?"

"I told JC of me not being as active during the school season. I haven't told him the location of it yet."

I don't even want to think about the consequences of being so near to me, and I can tell by Jake's face, he is a bit nervous about it himself.

"Where do they think you are now? The people?"

"Recruiting like JC. Besides they won't question me. Grown a bit of a bond with them."

"That's good." A pause follows, and although nothing significant is being said, I can't help but miss his presence, even if most of the words exchanged is small talk.

"You look happier than the last time I saw you."

I chuckle, before reconnecting our eyes, "Sure doesn't feel like it, but I guess you're right. I'm content with what I'm doing right now. I have a major, for now at least. I have a great roommate, my classes organized for the fall. I'd say I'm pretty content.

"All I care is if you're happy."

"Are you?" I ask.

"You already know the answer to that." He mumbles, "Ask me what a perfect world is for me."

I won't because I know it contains us, and we would have to start all over with the closure part of this meeting.

I stare down at my lap. I am not daring to look at his intimating face any longer.

"I should get going." He announces, and I knew the second he said those words, I'd regret him from telling them. He stays seated for a moment longer before beginning to stand up.