Tell Me Why || McLennon

Chapter Thirty-Six

      John quickly rushed into the Cavern, shivering from the cold rain that still continued to fall outside. He was soaked from head to toe, having no car to get home. He could've taken the bus, but he didn't feel like waiting through all those stops before him. He risked getting a cold and ran back in the rain.

      As he opened the front doors, the smell of alcohol came upon him. It was tempting, but he decided not to stay, for he was actually not in a bad mood tonight considering what had just had happened. However, he did pull out a cigarette and a lighter. He put the cigarette in his mouth, and let it dangle from his lips. He cupped his hand over the edge of the lighter and brought it to the cigarette. He gently lit it, and pulled it out, taking a drag.

     John turned his attention to the stage. There was a band, who he had never seen before playing. Probably new, he thought.

    He watched the bassist who stood there like a statue. His fingers moved fast, but not as fast as the lead guitarist, who looked as if he was totally into it. Although, his guitar playing wasn't the best in the world.

     John flashed his eyes from the guitarist to the drummer, who you could tell, was obviously bored out of his mind. He played sloppily and looked down at his feet, almost like he had stage fright.

     John sighed and began to watch the lead vocalist, who didn't play an instrument. But he had the most beautiful voice. Way better than John's. His amazing voice almost reminded him of Paul's voice.

     Paul.

     John felt a pit in his stomach. Paul. Suddenly, all the memories of the morning came back to him. The argument, the escaping, and Cynthia. Cheating with Cynthia.

    And then just like that, all the happy emotions John once felt, disappeared. They were replaced with worry and sorrow.

     He knew he'd be in big trouble if Paul ever found out about this. That's why he couldn't dare to find out. John wouldn't let it happen.

    But even the guilt of lying and cheating would still eat John alive. And he didn't know if he could take anymore emotions. They were all scattered in his brain, sadness, pain, and seconds of happiness. Now there was a new one. Guilt. His mind wouldn't make sense at all, but John wished it would.

      John took another drag of his cigarette, beginning to make his way up the stairs. He peeled his eyes away from the vocalist, his mind now on other things.

     He took his time, stepping one by one, keeping his eyes looking straight ahead of him. He thought he would probably stay in Paul's old room, considering what had happened with Paul. And Paul was the last person on earth that he wanted to see right now. He at least wanted to make up his mind if he would tell him about the cheating or not before he saw him.

      He reached the top of the stairs and turned to his right. John kept alert, not wanting to bump into anyone, specifically his so called 'boyfriend.' He began to walk, looking for the door that lead to Paul's old room on the left side of the hallway.

     John's heart began to speed up, knowing that Paul was somewhere in the building. He wouldn't be out at this time of night.

    The guilt already began to take over John, making him think that Paul would most likely break up with him if he found out. John couldn't stand the idea of that. He loved Paul the most out of anyone in his life. He couldn't risk losing him along with the others.

     John approached the door and quickly opened it, stepping right in. He shut it and leaned back against it, immediately regretting his decision of cheating.

    He closed his eyes as a tear rolled down his cheek. It was going to be a long night.

Thanks for reading. -Liz :)