My Covert Bodyguard

20: Aftershock

She smiled at me, looking amused.  "Is everything alright?"

"Yeah, fine, I just came here to leave this book, yeah, I'll be leaving now."

I placed the book down and quickly exited the room.  I breathed out slowly, willing my heart beat to slow down.  What was wrong with me?  I was getting so panicked at the library.  Nothing was going to hurt me here.

I found Kyle in our usual spot, and I sat down next to him.

"Hey." I said, in my most cheerful voice.

"What's wrong?" He immediately said, and I felt my heart jump in my throat.  How was he so good at reading what was going on in my head?  I didn't want him to know I was starting to get paranoid about everything.

"Nothing, what do you mean?" I said, and Kyle narrowed his eyes.

"Your face is paler than usual and you're sounding a little over energetic."

"What?  You're being ridiculous." I scoffed, and Kyle looked unoconvinced.

"Right...you can tell me whenever you feel like it." And he started eating his sandwich.  I was glad he was letting it go but I felt unnerved that he could figure out something bad was going on so quickly.

I gazed out to the park and the school courtyard, as freshman giggled off to their next class and students hung around to enjoy each other's company.  And something inside of me just felt hollow, like all of these small things didn't even matter anymore.  The chatter, the friends, the time-passing, was suddenly so pointless.  All that really mattered now was being safe.  And right then, I didn't feel safe.

"Why?" Kyle asked, and I snapped out of my daze.

"Huh?"

"You just said you don't feel safe. Why?" 

I mentally cursed myself.  I had a bad habit of speaking my mind.  

I sighed, looking out into the distance.  I saw people run by, and the slightest movement that came from behind me made me feel tense and vulnerable.

"I feel like...there are people all around me...hunting me down.  And I'm fine right now because I have you but...what if you're not there? Like last time?"

Kyle bit his lip.  "The Office is working on it right now, but I'm not going to leave you until we know for sure that you're safe."

"You're just going to leave once all of this is over?"

A flash of emotion passed over his face but his eyes instantly guarded up, putting a thick brick wall between us.  "I don't know yet."

I ran my hands down my face.  "I just...whenever I close my eyes, I feel like there's someone watching me, or grabbing me and it's...I don't know...I can't relax, even for a second."

"That's a perfectly normal thing to happen to someone after a traumatic experience.  Plus, you weren't fully recovered after the incident with Zayden, so it must be tough on you."

I shook my head.  "But...it's different.  I feel like I'm not actually being paranoid, but they're, whoever they are, they're still there."

Kyle suddenly reached a hand towards me and rested it on my neck.  His thumb brushed my jaw, and he looked into his eyes.  Those brilliant green eyes of his were confident and unflinching, as he said, "you're safe.  I promise you, I will not let anyone lay a finger on you."

The way he said those words, so full of conviction, made my breath catch in my throat.

I realized I had been crying when I tasted salt in my mouth.  Kyle suddenly pulled me to him and I welcomed his embrace, and he held me firmly against him.  One of his hands were placed on my head, and when his fingers brushed against my neck, goosebumps went down my spine.  My heart hammered in my chest for some reason, and I was worried he would hear it.