Coping

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Authors note: Stick with me please my first few chapters are choppy and not so great keep reading I get a better grip of things later into the story. thanks :)

        One of my old best friends Lindsey started hating one me even more then she use to and she started spreading rumors. Telling guys I liked then when I really didn't. Embarrassing me in front of all her friends by telling them about the time I got scared by a spider at her house in grade two and started crying. Her and her friends started calling me 'Crazy Clair'. They started talking about me behind my back and making me feel insecure. they made fun of me for the way I acted, the way I talked, the clothes i wore, the things that I was afraid of. They basically made fun of me for being me.

It was like every time i saw Lindsey she was coming up with another way to make my life miserable. The things she was doing wasn't easy to ignore. The things they were saying hurt. I had never really let anything they had said before get to me but this, all this was new. It was too hard for me to ignore them, but I keep what they say from reaching my head, at least I tried to do that. 

Everyone she knew would laugh at me behind my back and pretend to like me to my face. I don't know who to trust anymore. Besides from my 3 best friends, Katie, Jordan and Jerome I am alone.

This taunting got worse by the weeks. It had gotten to the point when i would pretend to be ill so i didn't have to go in to school. So I didn't have to face feeling like an outsider. They kept this up for the whole year.

By the time I was in grade six the only people I could truly trust were Katie, Jordan and Jerome. Every night I prayed that my life would turn around, that it would be better. The same people dind't get board of watching me grow more and more depressed, they enjoyed it. I think they felt like they could rule over me, I was becoming a living puppet. All I wanted then was a miracle, I wished that we could move back home back to where people didn't make fun of me.

I never told anyone in my family about the things happening at school. The only people who knew were my friends. I was to afraid of what might happen if I were to tell my parent's or even my sibling. They would probably tell someone about it and i would be hated more. So i would just deal with it on my own. At the time it felt like a perfectly good idea, so I stuck with it. I let all the feeling I had and all the pain I felt pile up inside me for that whole year.

By grade seven I just didn't want to do anything anymore. I let what they say ruin me. I was a prisoner in my own skin. I hated life and I didn't want to live anymore. No one ever bothered asking if I was okay. No one at all. But I kept trying my very best to keep what they say from getting in my head from ruining me.


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