Shining Stars

Chapter 2

Chapter 2

So now that the past few months have been cleared up I will continue my story from today. It had been 10 months and six days since Gus passed. Today began like any other, I woke up happy and then the pain struck me in the heart, making me lose my breath.

This is hoe every morning begins for me. I rolled over onto my side to look at my bedside clock, just after 8am. As much as I didn't want to leave my bed I was forced to by my mothers shouts.

"Class in an hour! COME ON LAZY! Just a few more weeks to go!"

Every morning I glance at myself in the mirror. My nightdress goes just below my knees. Everyday I look a little thinner, a little weaker. I suppose its only to be expected with stage 4 cancer but my heart sinks a little. Augustus said I was beautiful, he didn't see the tired eyes or the body verging on anorexic.

He just saw me and I'm grateful fir that. I walk to the kitchen dragging my oxygen tank. We're like twins, you can't have one without the other. My mums sitting at the table eating what looks like scrambled eggs. I've always hated the smell of eggs, it makes me want to be sick.

I pour myself a glass of orange juice and slowly sip.

"Aren't you having anything else?" My mum asks, in response I shake my head.

I'm not hungry at all, recently my mums been complaining that I don't eat enough, once again in my opinion it's just a side effect of dying.

"Want me to drive you?"

"No, its okay."

The second my glass is empty I shower and get dressed. I wear Gus' shirt, its the shirt I wear the most. It still smells a little like him, with a few other odours mixed in. I drive to the college and arrive early. There's a girl sitting in front of me named Leila and her boyfriends beside her. After Gus died I signed up for more classes.

Just because I wanted something to take my mind off him and nobody here pitied me. I never told anybody here about Augustus and so nobody knew he had passed away. Only then did I understand Gus' point of meaning something. He was amazing yet all the people around me ( more have came in ) have no idea he ever existed.

I wish they did, so in a way we could share our grief. Obviously Isaac and I miss him, but for different reasons. Isaac misses his best friend while I miss my lover. We were brought together by Augustus, yet we were both something very meaningful to Gus. In different ways.

My professor saunters in and begins the lesson. I'm listening and taking notes but I'm also crying inside. I have moment like these from time to time, moments when I feel so depressed because he isn't on this Earth anymore.

Depressed because I have been left behind.

Thankfully today my final class is philosophy. I only took the class about six months ago and surprisingly I am enjoying it. I sit down in my seat near the back of the lecture room watch Professor Matthews set up the PowerPoint on her laptop.

The title is " reincarnation ". Professor Matthews walks to the front of the class and adjusted her glasses, they always were a little squint.

"For the final few weeks we'll be focusing on life after death. That's if you believe there is. We'll focus on three key beliefs, 1. Heaven and Hell 2. Reincarnation and 3. Ghosts. After which we will express our own beliefs and look at the science. However today we will be looking at reincarnation and people who claim to have lived before."

Even though I believe that once your dead that's it, all the stories we were told were amazing. A little bit at the age of 3 was able to explain in vivid detail his past life to his parents ( we watched it on DVD ) and we then looked at religions that believe in reincarnation.