Just a guy with gay advice!

Closet adventures

My question is was it hard telling your parents that you both are gay? I wanna tell my parents that I'm bi, but I'm too scared and I don't know how they'll react to it

Dear Daryldixon,

We both had 2 completely different experiences. Which in my other book I will have a full story but the story here will be a quick one.

Tyler: my story is a little hard. I was terrified and it took me about a good 10 years to come to terms with myself.

It was a couple days before Thanksgiving. I had told only one person and that was my cousin. I decided it was time after some long thinking. I sat my parents down. I was speechless. My cousin did the talking. I just cried. It was not a good time for me. It was not a good time for my family. There was a lot of yelling over a period of a few months. A lot of fights. And I was forced to live at my grandmas for a while.

Then somewhere in the silence came an acceptance. It took a while but love came through the darkness and my whole life is different. I have an amazing family who had to take time to sort through their thoughts. And now I am getting married next year and my whole family is excited and can't wait. It gets better, just like those viral videos.

Keith:

Well, my experience was much easier but still the scariest thing I have ever done. Nothing in this world is scarier than the thought of the people who have been your entire life could suddenly reject you, simply based on who you love. I knew I was gay in elementary school. I had decided to attend a college that was very close to my home so I could live at home. About 3 weeks before school started I decided I would move about 2 hours away and go to college, live in the dorms and come home every other weekend.

I quickly bonded with my roommates. They were some of the nicest guys I had ever met. But they were all straight and extremely interested In women. I had slowly started coming out to the people I knew would take it best, some friends, cousins, my aunt. Then I started feeling a little bit more comfortable. I told some people at school, more members of my family. At this point I knew at least if my immediate family rejected me I would have some people to fall back on. I was home one weekend and I decided to come out to my mom. She lives about 25 minutes from the rest of my family so I was going to drive to her house and visit her and tell her in person. So I picked up my phone and called her to make sure she would be home and she told me she was going to wilmington (where I was) to go to the grocery store and asked if I would like to go with her. So she picked me up and could tell I was emotional and super nervous. I was going to tell her in the car but totally chickened out. So as we are walking through the isles she turns to me and say "Keith, please just tell me why you are so upset, I can tell something is bothering you" and I stood there in the middle of the store trying to gain the courage. I finally just spit it out. Right there in the frozen foods section. "I'm gay". She looked at me and said "is that all?!? That's why you were acting like you were about to confess to murder?!?" And she hugged me and I cried all the way through the store. It was the weirdest yet most liberating experience of my life. My mom told my sisters. Her boyfriend and her mom and sister. They were all awesome about it.

Then I was ready to get it all over with. I went to my grandmas house. Walked into her kitchen. While she was cooking and said it. "Grandma, I just wanted you to know. I'm gay. " she said "oh, so........are you dating anyone?" I said "no, not right now." She said hugged me and said she loved me and she was fine with it as long as I am happy.

The next morning was Sunday, my grandma host a brunch very sunday for my entire family. I was at my dads getting ready and he and my step mom headed over to my grandmas.

My sister called me and asked if I planned on coming out to my dad that day, I said I wanted to but I was very nervous. She said if I wanted her and my aunt to talk about it with him. I said she could and she called me after. I was sitting on my bed. Shaking and crying. He called me and said I needed to come eat and talk with him. I was nervous but I knew he was okay, I walked in and he hugged me and said he was proud of me and that when I'm an old man he wants me to be happy with the life I had lived. He said I have to live with no regrets and he knows I'm following my heart, therefore whatever I do he will Always be there for me.

Being out to my family, coming home, being so free and happy. Going back to school literally felt like walking into hell, I was so depressed and knew if I wasn't going to come out I would have to leave. It was putting me in such a bad place emotionally. It was a very hard decision but I decided to leave school that spring. A lot of people would say I made a stupid decision and should have just come out and stayed. But I wasn't in the place emotionally to deal with any negative lash back. They have all since found out about my sexuality from Facebook. They have messaged me and told me they are supportive and understanding.

I met Tyler 2 months after coming out. It was fast and crazy but I fell in love with him so quickly. And so did my family. It has been an amazing experience and so liberating and I have never been happier!

My advice:

I feel that LGBT people are the only ones who ever know the feeling of hanging out with people of the same sex yet their is something huge setting you apart. People always say they thought I was gay because I hung out with only girls in school, but that wasn't really intentional. I was just afraid of being called out for being different. Girls gravited to me and still do, because Gay men are more open. I have met a lot of straight men since I've come out that I can be myself around and that's amazing. My biggest advice is to be yourself and find the people who make you happy and make you a better person. I have absolutely found my self in these past 2 and a half years. I still have a lot of growing to do. But I have found a lot of awesome people who push me. Even if some people don't accept you and that's a very real possibility. Just know their are always people who are here for you.

Hope this helps!

Tyler and Keith 👬👫👭