The Outsiders Preferences

#27~ Two-bit Imagine

I could feel the heavy rain seeping through my clothes as I stood outside on the cold May afternoon. Darry has come by earlier and told me to get inside before I catch somethin'. In fact, the entire gang came over to try and convince me that she wasn't coming back. It would be too hard for her to be in this town without breaking down over what had happened here the past few weeks. But none of their words managed to convince me that y/n had just left me forever. My brain hardly paid attention to how little a chance there was of it actually happening. All I could think about was her. The way she had come into Darry's house after the rumble with tears in her eyes and a face that could only make one imagine how much pain she had just gone through. Y/n had just ran into my arms and let all of the sobs she had been holding in that night loose. I had held her tight to my chest and gently swayed us back and forth, tryin' to tell her that everything was going to be all right. If only I had known in that moment how much she had just lost. I snapped out of my thoughts and pulled a cigarette out of the pocket in my jeans. I put it in between my cold lips and quickly lit it in an effort to calm my nerves. I was shaking all over and I wasn't sure if it was from the cold or from the tears that I was desperately trying to keep from rolling down my face. Part of me, the part that I had been living by for years, questioned why I wasn't hangin' out with the gang right now, trying to soak away my sorrows with alcohol. But then again, there was another part of me that knew exactly why. It was because I had never felt about anyone the way I felt about y/n. She was like no other girl I'd ever met, in the way she saw the good in every person she met. She even saw some good in those god damn Socs, for pete's sake. I knew that even if I did try to leave her house, I would always be tormented by the memories and never forgive myself for not waiting just a little bit longer. I began to feel the warm tears that had been trapped in my eyes slowly down my face. I pulled the cigarette out of my mouth and tried to blink away the rest of the tears that were no doubt going to come out soon. I ran one of my hands through my wet hair as I let the cigarette drop to the dying grass. I stepped on what was now an orange and white blur through my tear filled eyes to put it out and leaned against one of the poles attached to y/n's house. I stared at the end of the street, watching as a car would rush past every now and then. However, none of them was the one I was searching for. None of them were the one that would save me from doing what I knew was going to happen if I didn't get to see her face again.