21: Him

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After having to ask my little sister five different times, she finally cracked and told me she had been talking to Natalie. The girl I loved who had let someone else kiss her. She thought she could talk to my little sister? I was livid. My anger only intensified when I had Addy relay the entirety of the conversation to me. Late. Natalie was late and told my fucking little sister. Gave her that burden to hold. And didn't seem to be planning on telling me. It was 11:28 pm when I sent her a text that read WAKE UP knowing damn well that I should think about everything and wait until tomorrow. Everything was worse at night. No matter how many times we realized this, we never learned our lesson. I wouldn't just keep texting her. I wouldn't wait. I called. It took longer than I expected for her to answer and I could tell she wasn't awake. I yelled at her to wake up. Told her we weren't having this conversation while she lay there barely conscious. The moment I knew she was coherent I told her I knew she'd called my sister. Knew what she'd told her. Knew she'd burdened her with problems that shouldn't have been hers to deal with. What it came back to though was the boy she allowed to kiss her. I was asking about it again and I hated that. I was so mad that I was reverting to asking more questions about him touching her, him being close to her, her flirting with him. I was angry that I was regressing. I was angry that I was losing all of the dignity that I had held in our final conversation. After an hour of making the girl I used to love cry all over again I said goodnight and hung up the phone.

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