The last time

3: Him

When I really sit back and look at the messy truth of Nat and I as a whole, it's amazing we pushed back for so long. Something, I'd say god, Nat would say the universe, was pushing us together, no matter how hard we pulled apart. It was my sophomore year of college, this would be the end of my college experience, for now at least; the bare beginning of Nat's. Natalie had been put on what she later lovingly referred to as the veto list by my then girlfriend, Rochelle, and for good reason. Even with a girl I loved so much pushing for me to let Natalie go, I couldn't. That was the season the predators, our local hockey team, went the farthest I've seen them go in the championship and for every game, no matter where I watched, Nat was there. Even once with Marley, Rochelle, and Bailey, a girl who I'd had various encounters with but not a real relationship at my own house. With all of those girls there, I couldn't separate myself from Natalie. We talked in the laundry room, the hallway, at the long wooden dining table my dad had bought. I watched her intensely as she hugged on and chatted with my little sisters, who she undoubtedly loved more than she loved me back then. I never understood why I couldn't stay away from her. Maybe it was because she was beautiful, because god she was. Or because of the single, seemingly endless kiss we had shared a year prior to this. Maybe it was because we just weren't done yet.