9: Him

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It's time to rip on the bandaid. If our relationship had always been wonderful, it wouldn't have ended. But it did. Because it wasn't. It's time to talk about my friend Ken's birthday party. This was the first time I saw a new side of Natalie. She was jealous and unkind and unhappy. The fun beautiful girl I loved was gone. Right when we got to the party something was wrong. I later found our she thought I'd called a girl baby when I said hello to her walking in, which never would have happened, but that isn't where it stops. I later found out that the next incident was me hugging a girl named Alex who had come to the pajama party in just a bra and her then boyfriends pj pants. Though far longer than ours, Alex and jakes relationship ended shortly before mine and Natalie's did. Turns out Alex had cheated on Jake and had no intention of stoping to settle down with him. She wanted an open relationship and I guess I should have seen this coming. She'd flashed me at a party with her boyfriend there and to be fair, I probably shouldn't have been hugging a girl in a bra. Especially not one who is seen without a bra on. What can I say. I was dumb. Looking back Alex wasn't the person I considered her to be. Neither was Natalie. No one ever is. The night got worse. A girl I didn't know started stripping in the middle of the porch where people were dancing and of course, Natalie wasn't happy. There was literally nothing I couldn't done about this though. I didn't know the stupid girl. I didn't want to know her. I didn't talk to her. I asked Nat so many times to leave. I'm not sure why she refused. I guess she felt obligated to stay for whatever reason. She just kept telling me to have fun with my friends. So when a girl I was friends with came up to me and asked me to funnel a beer with her, I left Nat by Taylor's DJ station outside and went. I never introduced Natalie to her. I didn't think this mattered but Nat sure did. Then I went onto the other porch with a group of friends and posted a video of a girl in just a bra and a robe on my Snapchat. I don't know why. I didn't know why when Natalie asked me for an answer later that night. This is when Natalie texted me that she was leaving and walked toward her car. If I hadn't noticed her walking that way, she would have left me there. I couldn't believe she would just leave me there. Nat claims she was watching me look at my phone when she texted. Said I ignored the message. I'd never been so hurt by her. I hadn't known how mad I was making her the entire night and there she was leaving me. I loved her. I never would have left her drunk and alone. Natalie changed that night. Or maybe it was just the way I saw her that changed. I recognized that she was hurt, but she wasn't who I thought she was.

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