Temptation ||woosan||✔️

the past

San's pov

I was walking out of he school building towards my car when i saw Wooyoung with his new little groupies. I knew it already he would have totally no problem getting along with anyone since he was too friendly and sweet now. My thoughts goes back to how me and Wooyoung used to be inseparable. We stick to each other all the time since we're seven years old.

During my fifteenth birthday, before i moved way. i decided to tell Wooyoung about the feelings I've been keeping inside for years. I was so overwhelmed by thoughts of moving away and leaving him. I can't stand the thought of how far we would be apart from each other and how someone could easily take him away as i was far from him. At this point i was so addicted to whatever poison he's been feeding me. Before i could stop myself, i went out of the line, and i kissed him. I didn't bothered to spare a single glance or waited a reaction from him, i ran away .

I was ashamed, i was scared, and i knew i messed up. The only thoughts
in my head was all the bad things Wooyoung could possibly think about me. And im pretty sure, he was disgusted by the kiss. Somehow , that helped me cope with my feelings when i moved away. I didn't broke the news to him since i am so sure he hates me. That day, i moved away without looking back.

The first day away from him was already hell to me. I can't stop thinking about him. I felt so terrible for leaving him just like that after the kiss. I missed everything about him and it almost drove me crazy as i thought about all these lonely days i have to go through without him. What's even worser is that im getting anxious about thinking him would replace me with other people and if he do so, it'll be so easy for him to replace me since there was actually a lot of people waiting to get a chance with Wooyoung. I was the only one who chase them away wanting to keep him to myself with an excuse of protection him.

As i got into my new school, friends was something i didn't worried about. I was alone for almost a year until i got to know Mingi and i finally found a way of getting Wooyoung out of my mind.The only thing Mingi get me into is partying. I won't say he's a bad influence because i learn to smoke and sleep around myself, just to get wooyoung out of my head. And all the fights i have is because of the frustration inside of me. I changed. I was not Wooyoung's San anymore. I became the kind of person he hates the most.

Wooyoung's pov

Soon after i got home from school , i was greeted by a deafening silence in my new home. I kinda expected that since it has always been like that. My parents are too caught up in their job. Even in our old house, they would only be home like twice a month. Which leave me with totally no one. I got used to it by now, especially since that day he left.

San was my only source of comfort that time. Since our kindergarten days until we were fifteen, he always checked up on me and it's almost like he's home to me. His scent, his voice, his existence itself calms me. I didn't get the taste of loneliness. Everything changed after his fifteenth birthday. I didn't knew his intention of kissing me but he was so different that day. He looked so down and hesitant. Dissapoinment hits me as he turnt his back and went away after the kiss. I never heard anything from him since that day. Not until his parents told me they're moving away.

My days without him was haunted by loneliness and question mark. 'Why did he kissed me that day?'.
I couldn't think straight and i have no one to talk to.I kept myself locked in my room for days before i finally decided to go to school. Everything changed, i was never anxious of going to school but that day, my hands were trembling, and i felt sick.

As time went on, i got over the crying phase and i started talking to people whom i honestly never acknowledge their existence before.
The next year, i was no longer a virgin. I let myself go. I was still the same person i used to be, it's just that i didn't held back anymore. I was more free and not dependant to anyone.

As time goes by, i realized something,

"I loved him"
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