Listen to the Words

Chapter 19

"You awake?" Jason asked.

"Mm-hmm."

Murphy pulled away his blanket and sat up on the bed. Jason stood at the kitchen counter.

"Your mom called," he said. "Guess she wants you back home."

"Okay." He yawned and rubbed his eyes. "What time is it?"

"Close to noon."

He looked around the room. Last night's pizza boxes and soda bottles were nowhere to be seen. The couch-bed was folded away, and everything was nice and neat.

He went to the bathroom and brushed his teeth, changed his clothes and combed his hair while Jason watched TV.

"Do you want to eat before we go?" he asked, as Murphy zipped his bag.

"No, not really."

He clicked off the TV.

They left the apartment, went downstairs and got into the car. The Pearl Jam CD played out of the speakers as they drove out of the city.

Murphy's phone rang, and he dug it out of his bag. "It's Lily."

He looked at her words. What rhymes with color?

"She wants to know what rhymes with 'color.' Duller."

"Mueller," Jason said.

His phone rang again. He tapped the screen and saw a message from his mom. Are you on the way home?

"Yes, Mom," he said, and then typed the same thing. "God."

"Well," Jason said, glancing at the screen, "at least she cares."

They drove onto the highway, and Murphy looked out the window. Then he said, "Why haven't we ever met before?"

Jason didn't answer, and he almost asked again. But then: "Well, you have a dad. He's your dad, isn't he?"

"But other people.... Other people live with their mom and their stepdad, and they see their dad like every other weekend or something."

"Well, you know.... Things were kind of bad around the time you were born."

"How old were you?" Murphy asked.

"Twenty-one... in college. Well, twenty-two when you were born."

"Yeah, my mom told me it was New Year's Eve."

Jason laughed. "Oh, she told you that, did she?"

Murphy thought the conversation was over, but then: "I didn't have a good role model, you know. 'Cause my dad was.... Well, he wasn't exactly the 'world's greatest dad,' you know."

"Why, what did he do?"

"Well, he was an alcoholic. And he could be violent."

"Didn't your mom ever do anything about it?"

"No, she... I don't know. Sometimes she'd try to get him to stop, but then when it was over she'd just act like nothing happened."

"Oh."

"Although he was probably worse with David.... But then David just copied what he did and took it out on me."

"So David hit you all the time?"

"Yeah, well.... He got into weight-lifting, like in high school.... When he was a senior he'd go to the gym every day, and he'd come home after I was asleep, and it was like he was all hyped up or something. So he'd run up the stairs and jump on me and just be hitting me. And he had this ring, like a class ring with an eagle feather on it, and I'd have purple bruises in the shape of his ring on my arms and chest and stuff.... Like an exact feather shape."

They were silent for a while, and then: "It's almost like my mom enjoyed it in a weird sort of way."

"She did?"

"Yeah, well... sometimes people enjoy things.... It's like she always wanted there to be some big crisis going on, but then specifically, she wanted to pretend like it wasn't going on."

"Oh."

"She got some pleasure out of that.... 'Cause of her own childhood, or whatever."

Murphy's phone rang, and the name Lily appeared on the screen. He tapped the message.

What do you think of this?

          I woke up and looked out the window / The sky was grey, and the people were even duller / Then I remembered my own soul, and yours / And the world was full of color

Murphy hit reply. Poetic, he typed. 

Jason turned right and exited the highway. As they drove past gas stations and convenience stores, Murphy started to recognize his surroundings.

"Well, almost home," Jason said.

They turned a corner and drove onto Digby. They stopped at a stop sign, and Murphy looked out the window. "That's my friend Jack's house."

"Oh?" said Jason, driving forward.

"And my friend Ian lives down that street."

The blue house on the corner came into view. What if I just told him? Murphy thought. What if I just blurted it out? 

Jason parked at the curb, and Murphy unclicked his seat belt.

"Well, I'll see you," Jason said.

"Okay." He opened his door and got out of the car. He slung his book bag onto his shoulder, slammed the door, and walked up the path. Jason drove away. 

The front door was locked. Murphy knocked on the glass, slowly, over and over. When he realized no one was coming, he jogged down the porch steps to the driveway, around the house and through the gate. He ran up to the back porch, and opened the kitchen door. His mom sat at the table.

"Well, you're back."

"Mm-hmm." He stepped inside, and set down his stuff. 

"Did you have a good time?"

"I guess."